Secret Garden
by cherlovesgreys
Summary: Two people find their lives bound together by a secret garden. It connects them when are they miles apart, and slowly brings them together when they are both helplessly lost. Drama, love, angst, fluff. AU Mer/Der.
1. First Meeting, Last Memory

**Hey all! So...this is my first time posting a fic for GA. Am I nervous? Hell yeah. I feel all jittery right now, lol. And I have no idea if I should continue this story. This story is going to be AU, and that's about as far as I know right now. I have some general stuff thought out for the story, but I'm pretty much charging blindly into the unknown here, lol. Oh, and it's MerDer. Enjoy! And comments would be great! I want to know if anyone's interested in this story at all.  
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**Disclaimer: I own the laptop with which I watch Grey's Anatomy with. And that's about as far as I'll get with owning anything GA-related, unfortunately.  
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**Chapter 1 – First Meeting, Last Memory**

_The moon shone brightly above the starless night sky. Clumps of flowers lined a small stream, and little dragonflies pranced about in the still night air, their fluorescent wings fluttering nonstop. In the distance, a soft shuffling could be heard as a little boy made his way through clumps of lavender. He clambered forward, guided by the soothing sounds of the stream. After several moments, he finally reached the edge of the stream._

_For a second, he gazed at the calm water with eyes that seemed to reflect what was before him. He sat down, sighing as he inhaled a deep scent of lavender. He had accidentally stumbled upon this mysteriously beautiful garden when he'd left his house in frustration after a round of his sisters' teasing. The quiet solitude of the place felt relieving compared to the hectic household that was his home._

"_What are you doing here?"_

_The young boy looked up from where he had been sitting by the pond, staring aimlessly down at the water. As he raised his head, he was startled to see a pair of bright green eyes staring back at him curiously. His heart pounded as he found himself unable to respond. Would he get in trouble for trespassing?_

"_Do you know how to talk?" The eyes blinked in confusion, and the boy slowly took in the rest of the girl that was talking to him. She was younger than him, probably around five years old. Her dirty blonde hair was tied into two pigtails, waving in all directions. She was wearing a bright yellow sundress, and her small hands clutched a white hat. The little girl seemed unfazed by the cold wind that buffeted her hair around. _

"_Of course I know how to talk!" The boy exclaimed indignantly._

_The girl shrugged. "You weren't responding. Anyways, what are you doing in my garden?"_

"_Your garden?" The boy's eyes widened with surprise. How was it that such a young girl could have cultivated such a beautiful garden?_

"_Well, it was my mommy's. But Daddy says she's not around anymore," the girl said quietly. Then her eyes lit up again. "But it's mine now! And I can do anything I want with it. So I planted lots and lots of flowers. I like the way they smell. Someday, I wanna build a castle here and live all by myself. Actually, I want a dog too. He can play in the grass. We can do whatever we want."_

_The boy reached to his left for a flat stone and skimmed it across the pond. One, two, three, four, five skips before the stone sunk down to the bottom of the water. He waited silently for the girl to stop rambling before he responded. "My dad's not around anymore. He taught me how to do that," he said, nodding his head towards the place where the stone had skipped moments before. _

_The girl stooped down, grabbed a stone herself, and attempted to throw the rock. It landed in the water with an unceremonious plop. She pouted, and the boy couldn't help but laugh at her facial expression._

"_What's so funny?" She demanded, glaring at him. "I know how to skip a rock! That was just bad luck."_

"_Sure you can…"_

"_I can!"_

"_I'll teach you."_

"_Really?" The boy turned at the excitement in her voice. She had apparently lost her momentary anger, and was now looking at him hopefully._

"_Yea, sure."_

"_Can we be friends?" Plop, as another unfortunate stone left the girl's hands and fell into the water. "'Cause I don't have a mommy, and you don't have a daddy. We can be friends."_

_The boy perked up at that thought. He didn't have many friends. Actually, none at all. Yes, he could be friends with this affectionate little girl. "I guess we can…"_

"_Great!" The girl jumped up immediately, tugging him up with her. She looked up at him. "I'm Meredith. What about you?"_

"_Derek," he replied. "Call me Derek."_

"_Hello, Derek," Meredith smiled happily. She had never made a friend before. This Derek seemed friendly, and was her first._

"_Hello, Meredith," Derek echoed, finding himself smiling for the first time since his father passed away._

_And with that simple greeting, the two children turned back towards the lake, the girl watching the boy intently as he showed her the proper way to skip a rock._

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_

A few months later…

_He was worried. Derek paced around in the tall grass, looking around him every so often in hopes of seeing his friend. He and Meredith had met here nearly every night for the past few months. They would sit in the stalks of lavender and talk…about simple things—childish jargon that adults, and certainly not the ones in their life, would understand. They could spend hours just debating about the shape of a cloud in the sky, or fascinate each other with random facts about what was around them. Over the year, the evenings in Meredith's garden had become an important part of his life. It offered him a few hours in which he could be himself, and say anything he wanted to without fear of getting teased, or picked on. She would listen to him in her own childish way, and then her sharp sea-green eyes would look up at the sky pensively before she responded to him. That was what made it so easy for Derek to enjoy the time spent with Meredith. She made everything so simple. With her, there was no right or wrong, no getting lectured, teased, or bullied. She was just there, listening. _

_Derek paused in his pacing and rubbed his head in frustration. It was way past their normal meeting time, but Meredith still hadn't arrived. He was all the more worried because of the conversation they had last night, in which Meredith had warned him that she might not show up anymore._

"_Derek, if I left, would you find a new best friend?" She had asked, playing with the hem of her dress._

"_Why would you leave?"_

"_My daddy says he wants to go. But I don't want to."_

_Derek had sat up abruptly then, looking at Meredith desperately. "You can't go! Who'll I play with then?"_

"_I don't want any more friends…I just want you." She responded as she tugged on a few blades of grass._

_The two of them had then fallen into a deafening silence, both wondering what would happen if they weren't together. Who would they talk to? Who would listen?_

"_Derek." Meredith said quietly, once the silence got too overbearing._

"_Hmm?"_

"_What if Mommy comes back and we've gone and she can't find me anymore?" She turned her head to look Derek in the eyes. "I'm scared, Derek. She might come back for us."_

_Derek watched a squirrel clamber up a tree behind Meredith. "I'll tell her about you. And she's your mommy, so I think she'll always know where you are," he said comfortingly. He hadn't known what else to say. But he knew that he would try his best to help her._

"_She won't…" Meredith's voice trailed off, then picked up again. "You have to remember to tell her about our garden, Der. She'll know how hard I worked on it."_

"_Our garden," Derek murmured, smiling despite the unhappy position they were in. "I'll definitely tell her about it. She'll love it!"_

_Meredith had stood up then, looking despondently down at him. "I have to go now, Derek. Daddy told me to go home early today."_

"_Mer…"_

_She looked away suddenly, not wanting him to see her tears. "The hat, Derek," she said softly. "Tell her I'll always have my white hat with me. In case she doesn't recognize me. Even when I grow up and become an adult like Daddy, I'll carry the hat with me, for her to find me." And you, she thought to herself. For you too._

"_Will we see each other again?" Derek shut his eyes tightly, unable to imagine what would happen if he never saw his friend again._

"_If we ever get lost or scared, let's both come here, okay? We can find each other then."_

_Derek nodded, looking at her back. "Goodbye, Meredith."_

_Meredith whirled around suddenly, facing him and giving him her brightest smile. "Goodbye, Derek. Thank you for teaching me how to skip rocks."_

_And then she had left quickly, without another word. Goodbye. Those words had held such finality to them. Now, Derek sat down next to the pond as he had so many months ago when they first met. It had just occurred to him that the only thing he knew about Meredith was her first name. For them, it had never been important to exchange any other details about their personal life, especially since they treated the garden as a way to escape from it. He sighed and tossed a rock back and forth in his hands as he realized that yesterday was indeed the last time they would meet. Meredith was gone._


	2. Second Meeting, Oblivious

**Thank you for those who took the time to review and add this story to their story alerts last chapter! I appreciate it very much. :) And well, this chapter might seem to have little happening and lots of description, because I need to set the story up. And I don't want to rush into anything.**

**Disclaimer: I don't think I own Grey's. Because to this day, I have no yet met the incredibly sexy Patrick Dempsey or the beautiful Ellen Pompeo. Also because I'm furiously wishing for money to fall from the sky and land into my bank account at this moment. If I owned Grey's, I wouldn't need the money. P:  
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**Chapter 2: Second Meeting, Oblivious**

_The Water-Lily Pond, Monet, 1888_. Meredith ran her eyes over the beautiful strokes of green and blue. She was taken by the mysterious sense of beauty that was portrayed by the delicate brush strokes. It reminded her of the garden she had grown and tended to when she was a little girl. Even now, she wasn't able to forget the sweet fragrant that hung in the air in that sacred place—minty, fresh, and flowery. She remembered the particular year when she had made a special friend there. Meredith sighed as she felt the familiar frustration build up within her. She couldn't remember who the boy was. Too many years had passed since then, and there was no bridge to bring the young boy's identity back to her. But amongst all things, she hadn't forgotten the happiness she had felt there with him, and the many times she had smiled. Mostly, she remembered because it had been the last truly happy memory of her childhood life.

Meredith often wondered what had happened to the garden after she left. She wondered if the boy took care of it. Were the stalks of lavender that she had loved so much still there? Ever since she had been brought back to Seattle as a result of her job, she hadn't found the courage to step back into her garden. It seemed that that was the one place in the world where her childish innocence and gentle curiosity had been preserved. She didn't want to ruin such a pure place with the unhappiness that had scarred and chased her for years later.

"Meredith, are you going to stare at those flowers all day, or are you actually going to hang them somewhere?" A tall, slender brunette woman walked towards her, delicately carrying two heavy paintings with each arm.

"Sorry, Emily," Meredith sighed. Work. She had to snap out of it. The past was the past, and it was long gone. "Just got caught up in a little moment."

Emily looked at her friend closely. "Are you alright? You've been sort of…off since we came to Seattle."

"I'm fine," Meredith responded, more out of habit than actual sincerity. She picked up Monet's painting and walked ahead. "We better hurry. Mark's going to freak if he finds out we haven't set up the whole place yet," she said over her shoulder as she walked towards the far wall.

"You'd think the man would do actually get off his ass and do something for once," Emily muttered as she caught up to her.

"You think he faked his degree in art just to sit and stare at girls all day?" Meredith giggled as she hung her painting up on the white wall and stepped back to look it over. Shaking her head, she nodded towards her friend. "What d'you think, Em? Does the green look too washed out next to the white?"

Emily furrowed her brows as she scrutinized the painting for a few moments. "Hmm…move it over to the beige wall. It's much softer on the eyes," she concluded, leaning one of her paintings against said wall and holding the other up for Meredith. "And anyways, if I'd known that it was that easy to fake a degree in art, I wouldn't have stayed in school for six years."

"Hey, no complaining," Meredith said jokingly. "I stayed in school for way longer than that."

She grabbed the painting from her friend, studied it for several seconds before hanging it decisively onto a red wall adjacent to where they were standing. It had taken her years before she realized her appreciation for art. Mostly because her father had spent the better part of life pushing her to be a policewoman, she thought bitterly. That had left her almost no chance to discover her true interests. Until this day, she still had no idea what had suddenly brought about Thatcher Grey's yearning for his daughter to become part of the police force. The man had refused to acknowledge her existence after she had changed her major to art.

"Good afternoon, my dear ladies!" Meredith was startled out of her reverie by a loud, annoying voice that signified the arrival of her man whore of a boss, Mark Sloan. Sometimes, she wondered if he had taken a career in art just to stare at the naked lady statues.

"Good afternoon, my ass," Emily grumbled. "You haven't been here all morning setting up for the damn art show!"

Mark, a solidly built man, grinned. "And that is the joy of being the head of the board of art directors," he said smoothly, sticking his hands in his pockets as he observed the room. "Though I must say, you ladies have wonderful taste. This room's been set up perfectly. Monet, Cassatt, Cezanne, Morisot, all so romantic! A magnificently beautiful portrayal of Impressionistic art. Rather…orgasmic," he smirked.

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Yeah, Mark, we know it all. You can't get laid, so you're relieving yourself in front of Monet?" She hung up her last painting, and walked over to Emily, who was looking more and more disgusted by the minute.

"Nah, Cezanne's paintings are sexier," Mark responded nonchalantly as he ran his fingers through his silver-gray hair.

"Oh my God," Meredith heard her friend groan. "I feel so sorry for these paintings."

"We're done here," She said to Mark as she grabbed her friend's elbow and dragged her out of the room. "We'll leave you alone with your…orgasmic…paintings."

They were nearly out the front door of the small art studio as Mark called out, "Remember the show starts at 7pm flat! You have to be here to introduce the paintings!"

Meredith laughed as she got into the passenger's seat of Emily's car. "He doesn't know any of the paintings well enough to introduce them himself," she joked as Emily climbed behind the steering wheel.

The tall brunette sighed as she rubbed her hands over her forehead. "I need to go somewhere to cleanse my mind," she muttered. "Where're you heading?"

"Home," Meredith said without thinking. Too late to take back her words, she realized, as Emily looked towards her curiously.

"You have a house here?"

"I…yeah. A long time ago. I figured I should probably clean it out after all these years. It's been a long, long time. And I need to resolve some…things," she rambled, cringing as she heard the words that came out of her mouth. So much had been left behind there. There was no way she could explain her whole crappy life to anyone—even her colleague and best friend.

"Sure, go do your thing," Emily said, stifling a yawn. "I'll drop you off, head home and get some sleep before I pull my ass out of bed for the show."

Meredith didn't respond as she let her eyes drift to the window next to her. The passing scenery was starting to look vaguely familiar. She had forced herself to avoid this part of the city since she arrived. It seemed pathetic, now that she thought about it. She was a grown woman, afraid to step into the boundaries of her own childhood. It was incredibly lame.

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Derek Shepherd was an idiot. He wiped the dirt off his hands, glancing at all the weeds he had pulled out in the past hour. He was definitely an idiot. Because only idiots kneeled down in a half-abandoned garden that probably had no visitors. Pulling the weeds had, however, kept him off the shock of the betrayal of his wife. After since going back to his New York brownstone to find his wife in bed with his best friend Mark, he had wanted to come here, to the garden. So he had packed his things and took off straight for Seattle. The place where he had spent the better part of his childhood.

When Derek first entered the garden, he hadn't known what to expect. When he'd left, the place had been a beautiful painting of reds, blues, violets, and greens. But over the years, with no one to take care of it, the place had degraded to nothing but an old junkyard. The grass was overgrown, and the flowers grew haphazardly, in no particular order. It was like a mini-jungle. As he had stepped gingerly over the dried grass, he felt the familiar sinking in his heart. Ever since the girl had left, he had been waiting day after day for her to come back. He had waited as long as he possibly could. However, the day he was to leave for college, the girl hadn't appeared once. It was as if she were just a figment of his imagination. So Derek had visited the garden one last time, to say his own good-byes—to Seattle, to his childhood.

In many ways, he was jealous of the boy who had visited this garden every evening so many years ago. That young, alternate version of him had not needed to worry about cheating wives, or backstabbing best friends. He had not known the hurt of betrayal, or the overwhelming sense of loss. Derek was sure that it was not only his wife that had triggered his deep dissatisfaction with himself. He wasn't sure when, but somewhere along the course of his life, he had turned the wrong way. And everything had gone downhill since then.

Now, he reveled in the peace the garden brought him. Somewhere in the distance, a bird screeched. He pondered, not for the first time, about the mysterious vibes the place gave off. It was like a separate world; a safer world. Derek froze as he heard a door slam beyond the white picket fence that surrounded the place. He hoped that no one had caught him going into this place. He briefly remembered seeing a tattered "Public Property" sign as he entered. Then, realizing that no one in their right sense would bother coming into a garden that was clearly abandoned, he shook his head slightly and bent down to start on another row of weeds as the sun began to set.

His ears picked up the melodious chirping of the crickets around him as the night creatures of Mother Nature began to stir. Derek smiled to himself as he softly hummed a familiar tune. He was home.

* * *

Meredith slammed the door behind her as she took in the dusty hallway before her. She nearly laughed out loud as she surveyed the scene that lay in front of her eyes. It was like something out of a classic horror movie. Slowly, she climbed up the stairs, thankful that the sun was not completely gone yet. God knows she was scared of her own home…

Boxes. Boxes were the first thing her eyes took in as she approached her old room. The medium-sized rectangular room that had once held a small wooden desk and a comfortable bed with her crazy little kid posters was now completely void of all objects except for five large cardboard boxes that were so completely covered with dust, she could barely tell that they were brown. So her father had never come back to this house to pick up the things they had left behind. That much she was able to conclude. She always wondered if he had ever come back after they moved halfway across the country to New York.

Meredith nearly jumped out of her skin as her phone rang, the happy ringtone seeming much louder in the cocoon of silence around the house. She glanced at the caller ID, then sighed as she picked up. "Emily, you scared the crap out of me!"

"What were you doing, chasing ghosts?" Emily scoffed.

"Something like that," Meredith murmured, stepping around the boxes to look out the window. "Do you need anything?"

Emily yawned loudly into the phone. "Nope. I'm gonna pick you up at your house in ten minutes. We better eat before the show. Last time the stupid event dragged way over the closing time. And we have to dress up beforehand."

"Alright, I'll wait next to the stoplights on the public street so you don't have to make a U-turn," Meredith responded, her fingers dancing over the edge of the faded red curtains.

"See ya in a few!"

Meredith snapped her phone shut and threw it in her bag. From her position at the window, she could see into the small stream behind her house; the one that led into her garden. The small rocks that lined the stream seemed almost deadly—inviting her to a forbidden place. No, she couldn't go there. Not anymore. It would make everything worse. She couldn't ruin her image of heaven in her mind.

With a sigh, she clambered back down the stairs and exited the building, oblivious to the disheveled dark-haired man that was emerging from the clearing beyond the stream at the same time.

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**A/N: Ask questions if anything confuses you! Although you'll probably understand more within the next few updates. And in case you didn't quite catch Mer's job, she is an art director. Her job involves setting up art shows/galleries. Yes, it's the most random of jobs, but I wanted to aim for something really different. Remember to review! :)  
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	3. Third Meeting, All Grown Up

**Thanks for those who took the time to review! I love you all. Remember to R&R! xo**

**Disclaimer: It is 3AM. There is a three week hiatus. Three more months until summer vacation. Hopefully, if I count to 3, April Kepner will disappear from sight. Unfortunately, I still have to wait 3 weeks before I know if something actually happens to her. So, I definitely do not own Grey's Anatomy.**

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**Chapter 3 – Third Meeting, All Grown Up**

Meredith could hear the soft music that drifted through the rooms as she walked around the showcase area that she and Emily had decorated earlier. Now that the place was lit up with soft red and orange lights, its extravagantly decorated interior was even more noticeable than it had been that afternoon. The soft murmurs of people talking could be heard as they milled slowly around from room to room, examining the paintings that rested on the colourful walls.

Seeing that there wasn't anyone who seemed to have questions or needed a tour, Meredith manoeuvred herself back to Monet's painting of his garden. She missed her garden, she really did. And she wondered yet again what had become of her first friend. She regretted not coming back to visit as she was growing up, but things had happened, and then all of a sudden, she had become an adult.

"It's easy to get lost in this painting, isn't it?"

Meredith was suddenly aware of the presence of a man standing next to her. She turned her head towards the voice, seeing a man slightly older than she was. He was wearing a dark blue suit, which brought out the ocean-blue eyes that were gazing at the painting with wistfulness. He was good-looking. Meredith couldn't help but notice that he was stunningly handsome. She sighed inwardly. If only she weren't so screwed up, she probably would have started flirting with him right then and there. She couldn't jump him though...definitely not. She only picked up guys at bars. Not at work.

All of a sudden, Meredith noticed that the man was looking at her amusedly, apparently waiting for some sort of response. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch what you were saying," she started, cringing as soon as the words left her mouth. "Crap. That sounded bad. Not that I wasn't listening to what you were saying, I just didn't hear it. It's loud here. Loud, and um, bright. Very bright. Bright is distracting or something."

The man's eyes twinkled with amusement. "I was asking if you worked here."

"Oh. Um, yes, I do," Meredith responded, fumbling at a string around her neck, pulling out her name tag.

"Meredith," the man read. "I'm Derek."

"Derek," she repeated. The name sounded strangely familiar on her tongue.

He smiled. "Are you from around here?"

Meredith raised an eyebrow. "Was that an attempt at a pickup line?"

"Maybe," Derek shrugged.

"I work here."

"So?"

"So obviously I'm from this place," she said.

"Hmm..." He paused for a second, and Meredith blushed slightly as she felt his eyes scrutinize her for a moment. "You don't give off the Seattle feeling."

"There's a Seattle feeling?" she giggled. "What in the world is that?"

"Seattle's rainy. But you seem kind of...out of place. Not fitting."

"Oh," she breathed. "Well, actually I move around a lot. It's the job, you know...I go wherever the boss decides to put on shows. Except Seattle...well, I probably don't belong here either. I did, or I think I did. Maybe, but then things got bad, so...I just...don't think I belong."

Derek turned his gaze back to the painting in front of them. "Don't belong anywhere, huh?" he said quietly. "I get that feeling."

"You do?" Meredith followed his gaze to the pond of lilies that hung on the wall.

"I really like this painting," he said suddenly, avoiding her question.

She frowned, but decided she shouldn't be so curious about a complete stranger anyways. She swallowed the questions that wanted to come out, and kept her gaze locked in front. Looking at him made her feel things; scary things. And that made her want to know more about the intriguing stranger. So she resorted to averting her eyes from his amazingly blue ones. "Me too," she responded instead. "It makes me feel safe."

Derek turned to look at her in surprise, and Meredith flinched as she met his eyes. "You too?"

She nodded, avoiding his eyes again. Dammit, he was way too handsome for his own good. "I can almost imagine the scent of the place, and the noises coming from the pond. The serenity of it all makes me feel safe."

"I've always had a thing for gardens," he replied. "Is that why you do..."

"Art show directing?"

He nodded.

"Yeah. It makes me feel at peace or whatever," Meredith said. "What do you do?"

"You mean besides go to art shows to show my appreciation for art and talk to beautiful women?" Derek asked, smirking.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Please don't tell me you're one of those pervs that stare at naked women in paintings?"

"God no," he laughed. "I'm a gentleman."

"Really."

"I am!"

"I bet you take pictures of naked people for a living or something," Meredith declared. "You seem the type."

Derek gasped in mock hurt. "You're saying I look like a pervert? What makes you think that?"

"Your hair," she mumbled, ducking her head down in embarrassment. "And you have those eyes. And you're not exactly bad-looking." Her eyes widened in shock. "Oh no, I did not just say that. Now you probably think I'm some creepy stalker-ish woman or something."

"So is it safe for me to guess that the whole point of that ramble just now was to describe how drop dead sexy I am?" He asked, coughing to hide his laughter.

"You're too cocky," Meredith stated. "You're not _that_ good-looking."

"I know I am," Derek responded, reaching up to adjust his tie. "And for the record, I'm a brain surgeon."

"A surgeon?" He was definitely off-limits now. Doctors were busy people...too busy to deal with everyday life. Meredith frowned. Just when she thought she'd met someone she liked.

Derek watched the expression on her face fall curiously. "Is that supposed to be a bad thing?"

"What?" She looked up at him quickly. "Oh, no, definitely not. It was just...unexpected. And...surgeon. You're a surgeon. Aren't you supposed to be somewhere saving lives or something?"

"Hmm."

"Hmm?"

"I just moved here from the East Coast," He said quietly. An expression of pain flitted across his face, but it went away so fast that Meredith wondered if she had imagined it.

"Why Seattle?"

Derek ran his hand through his hair. "I don't know. I have friends at the local hospital here, and they offered me a position. And, I felt a need to come back."

"Come back?" Meredith furrowed her brow in confusion. "You've been here before?"

"I grew up here," he smiled. "But then I left for college, and work."

"What made you decide to come all the way back here?"

Derek shrugged. "I grew up," he said simply. "Realised things."

"Well, that makes two of us," Meredith remarked. She looked past Derek's shoulder to see Mark coming towards her, which an undistinguishable expression on his face. "Crap, my boss is headed towards us now. I'm supposed to be doing the tour guide thing. He's gonna kill me. Do me a favour and pretend I'm explaining the inner mechanics of Monet to you."

He smirked. "And why exactly would I do that?"

"Mean," she pouted. "You're mean. We're both grown up or something."

"Hmm..." Derek pretended to ponder over what she said.

She opened her mouth, about to respond, but was interrupted by the sound of her boss's loud voice. "Grey, you're supposed to be guiding the visitors, not chatting them up," Mark admonished as he walked up to them.

Meredith was so flustered at being caught sort of flirting with a visitor that she barely noticed Derek visibly stiffen next to her. Nevertheless, she couldn't miss the darkening of his eyes. The undisguised hatred and pain in his eyes was so easy to read, it chilled Meredith to her bones. He seemed like a totally different person from the one she had been talking to earlier.

"Derek?" She probed quietly. "What's wrong?"

"Derek?" Mark exclaimed all of a sudden, shifting his gaze to the man standing next to Meredith, as if just realising his existence. "What are you doing here?"

Meredith looked to and fro between the two men in confusion. "You guys know each other?"

"I have every right to be here," Derek hissed to Mark, and Meredith shrunk back from the sheer hostility in his voice. She backed off slowly, watching them curiously.

Mark ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "Sorry, man...I didn't mean it like that. I meant; why aren't you in New York?"

"Why aren't _you_ in New York?" Derek deadpanned. "Last time I checked, you were in _my_ house, having the time of your life with _my_ wife." He took a deep breath, as if he were trying to resist hitting his ex-best friend in the middle of the art show.

Meredith drew in a sharp breath from where she stood off to the side. So he had a wife. Or still did. And Mark, her boss, was his best friend. Who apparently slept with said wife. He was definitely off-limits now. In fact, he was probably just as dark and twisted as she was.

"Derek, I didn't mean..."

"Don't sleep with my wife and then tell me you didn't mean it," he shouted. Heads turned in their direction. Meredith moved closer to him, and tugged his arm.

"Derek, not now," she whispered soothingly. "Come on, let's go out. You need some air." Slowly, she led the fuming man out the studio, shooting a glance back at her boss. Mark stood rooted to his spot, nodding at Meredith in gratitude before he turned and walked the other direction.

Outside, Meredith ignored the cold evening breeze as she sat Derek down on a bench near the studio, and dropped herself down next to him with a sigh. Her life was just getting more and more complicated. She waited for Derek to speak, and when he didn't, she twisted her watch around her wrist, keeping herself occupied with the repetitive movement as she tried to ignore the awkward silence that hung in the air.

"He was supposed to be my best friend," he stated suddenly.

"You're best friends with Mark Sloan?"

"Was," Derek corrected, "until I found him in bed with my wife."

"You and Mark Sloan," Meredith breathed. "You guys don't seem..."

"The same type?"

She nodded. "He's all...well, he's my boss so I technically shouldn't call him a man whore, but he is. And you...you're dreamy or whatever."

"You think I'm dreamy?" Derek chuckled quietly.

"How is it that you're cocky even when you're depressed?"

"It comes naturally," he responded, his eyes twinkling, before they turned dark again. "We were practically brothers. I had lost a friend before him, and when he came along, we just clicked. He was neglected in his own home, so I brought him to mine, where my mom all but adopted him. We were so close, Meredith. We confided in each other about everything. So how is it that he had been screwing my wife behind my back for months before I finally found out?"

Derek slumped back against the bench, staring straight ahead at a cluster of small birds hopping their way across the parking lot. "My life in New York had been perfect. So perfect, until my marriage started falling apart, and the day I walked in on them...doing that...in my bed, was the last straw for me. What happened? What happened to us?"

Meredith felt her heart break for the man she had just met. She understood the questions he asked, because she had asked them so many times to herself. The problem was, there was no answer. She had long learned that things often happened without reason, whether they were expected or not. She studied the birds picking at random crumbles of food on the ground. "You grew up," she murmured finally. "I grew up. We all grew up. Growing up...it sucks. Really, really sucks. You start learning all these things that you wish you were too idiotic to comprehend. And life starts getting back at you, biting you in the ass for who knows what."

Derek nodded, but didn't respond. Both of them continued eyeing the birds in front of them, revelling in the comfortable silence that now fell upon them. A car approached from the left, and the small animals let out a chorus of soft shrieks before they took off into the air, leaving the crumbs of food behind. Meredith wished she knew how to comfort her newfound friend. She wanted to, because he understood. He understood what hurt and betrayal felt like, and that life was not a perpetual image of happiness and bliss.

Finally, after several long minutes of seeking comfort in each other's presence, Meredith coughed, breaking the silence. "I umm...I probably shouldn't be leaving you out here alone. That'd make me a crap friend, or acquaintance, whatever we are. Except if I don't go back, my boss's probably going to be pissed at me. Not that I care, because technically I should hate him because I like you and you hate him, just..."

"It's alright, Meredith, I'm sorry for keeping you," Derek laughed, his face morphing into something more Derek-like, and less brooding. "And we're friends, definitely friends. We'll see each other around?"

Meredith stood up, looking down at him. "If fate has it so," she teased, smiling. "That was cheesy. But friends, that's..."

"Amazing," he finished. "Friends are hard to come by."

"So...I'll see you around then."

Derek smiled up at her, his blue eyes getting its arrogant shine back. "Goodbye, Meredith."

"Goodbye, Der." Meredith frowned as she turned around to walk back towards the building. The shortened version of his name sounded so right on her tongue, and had come to her so quickly, as if it were something she knew all along. Shaking her head, she shrugged it off, and turned back to wave at Derek once more, smiling when he waved back.

Neither noticed the haunting familiarity of the separation.


	4. Fourth Meeting, Just Dance

_AN: Sorry this took me forever to update. I've been watching "Friends" lately, and procrastinating everything. On a more serious note though, I've got big exams for the next two weeks, which really sucks. I hope this chapter isn't too crappy, because I haven't really given it a second look. And right now I've got another plot swirling around in my head, which is not a good thing. It means my ADD is going to hit soon. I have to force myself to concentrate on one thing for a longer time. By the way, what happens in this chapter was completely not what I had in mind for it. I just typed thinking one thing, and something else came out. I haven't yet decided if that's a good thing or a bad thing. And now, I'll shut up and let you read.  
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_Remember, it means a lot to me when people take the time to review. I take everything that's written to heart._

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_**Chapter 4 – Fourth Meeting, Just Dance**

Meredith picked up her glass of tequila, swirling around the contents slightly. She leaned her head against the cool surface of the table where she sat, feeling the coldness seeping through her skin. Somewhere behind her, a sharp wind hit her back as someone opened the door. She closed her eyes, vaguely aware of the lively chatter of the people in the bar around her, their voices sounding a million miles away. Meredith felt herself being pulled into the dark crevices of her mind that she avoided at all costs during the day. After a few moments, she opened her eyes into two thin green slits, and surveyed the scene before her. Sideways people, sideways tables. It was exactly how she felt most of the time…not up or down, just sideways.

Meredith set her glass down with a soft thud, and tapped her fingers against the table in a steady rhythm. She spent the next five minutes in that position, the noises of the bar sounding more hollow when she had her ear pressed against the glass table. She let her eyes drift from a random table of colleagues to the dance floor, where a group of friends were laughing as they danced wildly together.

Emily wasn't at her usual spot on the stool next to Meredith. "I've got a date," her friend had exclaimed excitedly through the phone earlier. "Wish me luck!"

Meredith sighed. Emily must have been seriously whipped in the head to ask her, of all people, for good luck. In all their travels together, Emily had been the one who made connections and friends everywhere they went. Meredith, on the other hand, felt herself shut down automatically as soon as she left work. Her fingers tightened around the small glass of tequila again. The passage to her sanctuary. It was the only thing that she could have a relationship with without bad consequences. Well, almost.

"Not gonna down anymore shots today?" the bartender's voice broke into her thoughts.

A set of brown eyes sudden appeared in front of her as Joe tilted his head in a similar manner, resting his face against the polished table. "Joe!" Meredith giggled as she raised her head, watching as Joe mimicked her yet again. "What are you doing?"

The large, bear-like man shrugged, tossing a rag over his shoulder. "Just wondering what's gotten into my favourite customer tonight," he said. "You're usually on your fifth or sixth shot by now. And here you haven't even finished your first shot."

Meredith glanced at the unfinished glass of the tequila that was still nestled tightly in her right hand. She picked it up, focusing on the liquid that was twirling around due to the movement of her wrists. "I don't know...," she murmured. "I just don't feel like it today."

Joe smirked. "Says the girl who drinks tequila like normal humans drink water. I've only known you for a few weeks, and yet you've already surpassed all my expectations."

"See them?" Meredith gestured towards the different groups of people making up the crowd in the bar. "They've all got their own group of people to rely on and pour out their miseries to."

"So?"

"I'm completely alone," she laughed humourlessly. "Somehow, they've all got people, and all I've got is Jose. It's weird, Joe. I've been everywhere...but I actually have no people of my own, besides Emily. And she's my co-worker. I never realised until now, how much this sucks."

Joe picked up an empty glass, wiping its interior with the rag. "I'm not gonna judge, Mer, because I honestly don't know much about the mishaps in your life. But you spend the majority of your life outside of work here."

"You know, the other day, I met someone," Meredith continued, as if she had not heard Joe, resting her chin in her hands. "He seemed like me."

"He?" The bartender paused his cleaning, and looked up at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Don't look at me like that! We're just friends."

"Uh huh, really..."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Alright, he wasn't bad-looking, I'll give him that."

Joe smirked. "You're smiling really un-Meredith like. It's kinda creepy."

Her heart fluttered as the image of Derek passed through her mind. However, she quickly quelled her own thoughts as she remembered the dark expression on his face when he had punched her boss. He had looked so lost in his own life; like she was. Meredith understood the feeling completely. She had felt that way for a long time. The expression that said, Life is shit. I'm just gonna get my alcohol and avoid it all.

She briefly wondered if that particular hitch in his life that involved his cheating wife had occurred after she started working for Mark Sloan. If the two men had really been good friends, she must've met him at least once. That would explain the feeling of déjà vu she felt whenever she thought of his deep-blue eyes. Meredith couldn't shake off the feeling that there was a deeper connection between them. When they talked, she felt as if she knew exactly how he would respond. She sighed. Perhaps it was her utter loneliness and desperation for the birth of a nonexistent social life that made her hallucinate and make too much of simple things. It's not like she could have forgotten if she had met Derek back in New York. He was completely...unforgettable.

"Well, if he's your friend, why didn't you invite him here?"

"We met," Meredith breathed, "under...awkward circumstances."

"Oh? What'd you guys do, kiss?"

An image of Derek kissing her flashed through her mind. "No," she denied quickly, taking a sip of tequila as she felt a blush creep over her face. "Of course not! He punched my boss."

"He what?" Joe asked in amazement.

"Mark Sloan. He punched Mark Sloan."

"You're kidding," the bartender snorted with laughter. "The women are gonna have lots to say about that."

Meredith glared at him. "It's not supposed to be funny, you know." Her mouth twitched though, as she replayed the scene in her mind. And Derek angry was...hot.

"Well, speaking of good-looking guys," Joe said, suddenly looking up at the sound of the bell as the bar door opened yet again. "Here comes one...I hope he's into guys."

Meredith turned, and felt herself break into a smile as she caught sight of the familiar pair of blue eyes. "Sorry to break it to you," she said to Joe. "But that's my friend. With the ex-wife."

"_He _punched Mark? I don't believe it," he responded, shaking his head disbelievingly.

"Doesn't look it, huh? I thought so too, before I saw him all angry and hot."

"So you think he's hot."

Meredith threw her hands up in frustration. "I told you he wasn't bad-looking, alright! And when he's mad he's hot. Not that I want him to be mad all the time, though, because then we'd obviously not be friends. But his eyes get dark or something when he's furious, and I think it's sexy."

"And here I thought I'd just be dreamy and buy you a drink...so I've got to pretend to be mad instead?"

Meredith froze. Cringing, she turned towards Derek, who had somehow made his way to the seat next to her. She sent Joe a death glare, which was returned with a smirk. "Shit," she blurted out.

"Shit?" Derek grinned amusedly. "Wow, that makes me feel really good."

"It wasn't supposed to make you feel good," she retorted. "Besides, what are you doing here?"

"It's a bar," he shrugged. "People usually come here."

Right.

"Two kinds of people go to bars," Meredith tried again. "Either they're seriously screwed up, or they've got friends."

Derek coughed, shifting in his seat. "Well, seeing as how we're both here alone, I'm assuming we both fall in the first category."

She winced inwardly as she remembered his cheating ex-wife. "Crap, I'm so sorry. I'm a terrible friend, aren't I? I totally forgot."

"I envy you for that," he said dryly. "Trust me, I'd give anything to forget."

A few moments of uncomfortable silence fell upon them, and at one point, Meredith considered leaving, before he suddenly spoke again.

"Let's help each other out."

"Seriously?" Meredith scoffed. "If you haven't realised, I'm here with my own crap, and you're here with your crap, and besides the fact that we both like gardens, I know nothing about you, and vice versa. How the hell do you propose we help each other out?"

He smiled, his eyes twinkling. "I guess it starts with a drink."

"I don't want to drink," she deadpanned, holding up her unfinished glass of tequila.

Derek paused for a moment, thinking, and Meredith thought she had him. Until...

"Let's dance then."

She raised an eyebrow. "Do you dance?"

"No," Derek admitted. "But that's beside the point."

"That is so not beside the point, Derek. The point of dancing is to dance." She let out a squeak of surprise when she felt herself being pulled onto the dance floor by Derek's insistent hand. "Derek! What are you doing?"

"The point," he said softly, and Meredith felt her heart skip a beat as he pressed her closer to him, "is simple. We hold each other. We move our feet together. We revel in the moment. Listen to the song."

She felt her body tense as he swayed them around, the noises of the bar fading into the background. Some random slow Spanish melody was ringing in the air. Meredith took a breath, and closed her eyes. Slowly, she felt the tension from her shoulders dissipate. He was right. Screw the point or whatever. This felt right.

"That's right," Derek murmured into her ear, moving them from side to side. "Forget everything. Just relax..."

Meredith felt the world disappear around her. In her head, there was just Derek and her, serenading in an empty room with the slow music in the background. She tuned out the sounds of the cars and the people all over the place, and the sweet melody of crickets chirping floated through the open doorway of the bar.

"I didn't know," she breathed.

"Hmm?" Derek buried his nose in her hair, and the smell of flower wafted up. It was gentle.

"Crickets. They sound so beautiful."

They continued to move around the dance floor, oblivious to everything else. Derek didn't respond, instead hugging her closer to him.

"Derek, what exactly are we doing?" Meredith brought hands around his neck, playing with the soft curls at the nape of his neck.

"I don't know," he murmured, his arms encircled around her waist. "But it's beautiful."

"It's not right, I don't think," she started again. "You just broke it off with your—"

Suddenly Meredith felt his lips against hers, silently shutting her up. The kiss wasn't deep; it was gentle and soft, but more intimate than anything else they could have done.

"Just dance," Derek whispered against her lips.

"Okay."

_I don't need to hug or hold you tight,_

_I just wanna dance with you all night._

_In this world there's nothing I would rather do,_

_Cause I'm happy just to dance with you._


	5. Fifth Meeting, Welcome

_It's been a while since I've updated, and I'm sure you have to read the previous chapters again. My apologies for that. The sad thing is, I don't actually have a legit reason as to why I haven't updated, except for the fact that I was completely stuck with this story. Writer's block sucks, as many of you know. This story is just my little pass time for the summer, while I work on other, heavier stories that I plan on publishing later on. And, this is my little impulsive story. When I put the first chapter up here, I had no idea where I was going with this story; it was more of an impulsive thing. And that's why I'm always at loss for an update. It's kind of fun that way, really...to write a story without planning it at all. Nice to see where your mind goes at times. _

_So there is no "tone" to this story. If I'm happy the day I write a chapter, that's how it turns out. If I'm pissed, I mess with them. A completely mood-manipulated story with no real path. Just a warning. Although I do have some kind of vague idea for this story now, meaning I've given shape to the next few chapters. Okay, I need to shut up now._

_Enjoy!_

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**Chapter Five – Fifth Meeting, Welcome**

The moon had nearly given up the sky to the sun, making the sky a beautiful mirage of oranges and pinks, by the time Meredith clambered into her hotel room. She tossed her car keys unceremoniously onto the small glass table in the makeshift living room before falling back on her bed, closing her eyes as memories of the evening flashed through her mind. She let a small smile flit across her face. It wasn't possible, not at all. Meredith Grey did not ever get this lucky, or so she thought. She swung her boot-clad feet back and forth, taking comfort in the dull thud that resonated around the room every time her shoes hit the wood underneath her.

**s e c r e t; garden**

"_So…" Meredith started, "where exactly do we go from here?" She played with the peanut shells in her hands. Folding, squishing, crunching, until they turned to peanut shell dust._

"_The song ended rather fast, didn't it?" Derek responded from the stool beside her, sipping his single malt scotch. He turned to look at her, smiling._

"_Maybe," she offered cautiously. Careful, Meredith. Test the waters before you swim._

_He chuckled, grabbing a peanut from the dish and peeling it open. "I wouldn't have minded if it had lasted forever, you know." _

_The bar rang with Meredith's laughter at his corny line, and she glared at him jokingly. "I would mind," she deadpanned, as the uncomfortable tension in the air disappeared. _

"_Oh?" Derek imitated her joking manner. _

"_First of all, you aren't that great of a dancer, and neither am I. And second…forgive me if I'm mistaken since you're the doctor here, but I highly doubt you'd last forever. Either your feet would die, you'd starve to death, or something else would happen."_

_He looked at her amusedly. "Not much of a romantic, are you?"_

_She lay her head down on the table the way she had before Derek had come in, motioning for him to do the same, and when he did, he felt the world shift around him. Suddenly, they were alone, cheeks pressed to the table, gazing at each other._

"_This feels amazing," Derek breathed in awe. "You'd think that such a simple act would create this…"_

"_Alternate world?" Meredith supplied. She smiled, and he felt himself thinking of the little girl from the garden. They were so similar – the woman before him and the girl inside his heart. They could have been friends. "Next time you feel like you need an out from this crappy world, come here and do this. Noises are cut off, people leave you alone, and for just a few seconds, you can close your eyes and imagine a perfect world," she was saying, as he let his attention drift back to her. _

_Derek laughed softly, flicking his fingers in front of her eyes, watching her blink in annoyance. "You really are something, Meredith. And here I thought you were just an expert on art."_

"_I'm not an expert on art," she clarified. "I'm an expert on worlds. Each work of art depicts a corner of someone's mind, and I think it's their way of letting you into their world."_

_Somewhere in the distance in the world of reality, a group of people were cheering their friend on, as he showed off the amount of alcohol he could consume. A girl fled from her booth, leaving her heartbroken boyfriend behind. A lone man stared at a cup of vodka, fighting his instinct as an alcoholic to down the entire thing and ask for more._

_Derek brought his gaze down to where both their hands lay unmoving on the table, close but not touching. He slowly shifted his fingers to the right, where they made contact with her skin. Electricity was felt, so obvious that a random passerby would have been able to confirm the chemistry that existed between them. The contact was broken nearly as fast as it came, however, when Meredith shifted her hand back._

"_You won't let me," he commented. He raised his eyes to meet her sea-green orbs._

_Meredith curled her hand into a loose fist, before staring at him evenly. "You kissed me," she murmured in wonder, as if such a thing could not be possible. _

"_I don't regret it, if that's what you're thinking," Derek said in a rush._

"_You barged into my world, without any hesitation." Eyebrows furrowed in confusion._

"_That…seems to be a habit of mine when it comes to you," he offered helplessly. _

"_I'm not used to people entering my world like that. I'm used to being alone; solitude."_

"_But…," he pushed, sensing the words that were waiting to be let out._

"_I wouldn't mind," Meredith said slowly, as if she herself were just realizing, "if you stepped in, one step at a time. I think that would be okay."_

"_So how do I enter this complicated world of yours?" Derek asked with a light laugh, attempting to reach her without actually making skin contact._

_He was rewarded with her giggle. "Complicated," she repeated, "is right. What do you feel right now, when you're lying here like this?"_

_Derek stopped for a moment, closing his eyes. He could feel her gaze on him, but let himself really pause for a moment to consider his feelings. The voices of the bar sounded so far away, like they were floating. Was that the sound of a young man's crying? Was that the clink of a glass? Before he could dwell on either though, he felt the sounds disappearing, until only echoes were left. And then, peace. Ah…who knew what a gift peace was? _

"_Do you feel it?" He heard Meredith ask, her voice drifting in from somewhere far away._

_Unconsciously, Derek felt himself nod. He saw light then, as he unwillingly opened his eyes, finding himself staring into her eyes again. And then her whole face came into focus, and then he could see that she was smiling gently, her features lit up beautifully. Her eyes twinkled with understanding; understanding for the way he felt, having been so recently introduced to that amazing sense of peace._

"_Welcome to my world," she breathed. "Or rather, part of it."_

_He found himself unable to stare at anything except her face then, his heart feeling the weight and meaning of her words. He was sure she could read the wordless thanks on his face, because he felt it inside him in great magnitudes. It was warm._

"_So…this is where you go after work," he joked, raising his head and looking down at her._

_Meredith raised her head so she could peer at him without twisting her neck. "I figured since I spend ninety-five percent of my life facing a bunch of problems, I could at least spend five percent of it avoiding them." She pursed her lips, seeing the thoughtful look on Derek's face. "Don't judge me."_

_He smiled assuredly. "Don't worry, I'm not." _

_When she still looked at him disbelievingly, he held up a pinky. Meredith quirked an eyebrow. "How old exactly are you?"_

"_I thought I knew, but I guess I really don't."_

_She smiled. "You, Derek, are a funny man. I like that."_

_And then both of them lay their heads back down, because words were no longer necessary. Strangely, Derek felt sated. They had done nothing, except they had done everything. For some odd reason, his mind drifted to a conversation he had had with his mother shortly after he had caught Addison with Mark._

"_Addie was wrong, but don't put all the blame on her," she had reprimanded. "When was the last time you really noticed her?"_

"_I…"_

"_If you realized something was wrong with the communication between you two, you should have confronted it. Throwing yourself in your work to avoid seeing her wasn't going to get you anywhere. I don't even know how you two existed in this ludicrous limbo for so long. Something was bound to happen to end it, and something did."_

_He had never felt like such a failure in his life, and the feeling was heightened because his mother was the one who was making him face reality. Derek remembered the feeling of her warm hands on his shoulder._

"_I probably should be comforting you right now," Carolyn Shepherd had said gently, "but you're my son, so I can't. If I didn't make you realize what you had done wrong, I wouldn't be able to call myself your mother. And I don't want you to hurt yourself, or anyone else, like this ever again."_

_Derek's life had pretty much made a downturn after that. He lost motivation at work, and before he knew it, he had ended up back in Seattle. He needed to see the garden. It had guided him once when he was lost, and given him a friend. Now, he was lost and alone once again. He opened his eyes for a second, and smiled upon seeing Meredith still in front of him, eyes closed with a peaceful expression on her face. _

_Or maybe, not so alone anymore._

_He smiled, and closed his eyes again, satisfied with the warmth that spread through his body and the sense of security that covered him like a blanket._

_And somewhere in the distance in the world of reality, a group of friends finished their alcohol consuming game, and left the bar with jovial expressions on their faces together. A young man wiped the tears from his face, left the bar, and threw a coin to the beggar just outside. He was rewarded with a bright smile of gratitude, visible even in the darkness. An alcoholic turned his vodka glass upside down, emptying its contents onto the bar floor. He left the bar with a feeling of achievement, and flipped his phone open to see a smiling picture of his young daughter. _

_Direction found._

**s e c r e t; garden**

Meredith suddenly got up from bed then, and rushed to her closet. She needed to find it…where was it? She had carried it every where she went, without doing anything with it. She tossed a load of random garbage out of her way, scrunching her nose as her hand touched a few dusty boxes that she had brought with her from the last art show destination. Shoes, clothes, old notebooks, a random pair of glasses, ah…there it was. She ran her hands over the smooth paper edge before grabbing it and walking back into the bedroom, where the light shone upon the huge white drawing pad Meredith was holding, giving it a slightly yellow tint.

She flipped through the pages, gazing wistfully at her own unfinished artwork. Pages upon pages of a young boy with curly hair and nothing else. Meredith remembered the frustration she had felt when she had sketched a perfect face outline and the hair, but couldn't remember the face. Fifty-three pages of a young boy with no face. And then she had given up drawing and painting entirely, and turned to arranging instead.

Now, Meredith took a deep breath before grabbing the piece of charcoal she always kept at her bedside table for luck. She flipped to a brand new page and poised her hand on the paper. For one fearful second, her heart stopped and she thought she wouldn't be able to draw again. But then, her hand started moving of its own accord, and she watched the lines that flowed from the charcoal like a river.

The outline of a man was formed. Curly, amazing hair. Eyes that were gentle and loving, but could flash with terrifying anger at any given time. A mouth that was kissable and capable of curling up into a teasing smile. A nose that was crooked but fit somehow.

He smiled up at her from the paper, and she returned it, feeling elated. Finally, finally, finally.

Meredith signed her name at the bottom of the paper, and paused for a second before scrawling the title across the back, so into her work that she did not even realize that the moon had given up at last, and a new day was waiting.

_Page 54. Meredith Grey - Oct. 6, 2009_

"_First Step: Discovery"_

**s e c r e t; garden**

"_You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself." – Alan Alda_

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_If that was confusing for you, I don't blame you. It was very random. There are four mosquitoes in front of me right now. I have sixteen bites, am jetlagged, and am sniffing mosquito-riddance incense. My cousin is playing some kind of metal at top volume. If people get paid to scream at the top of their lungs, why am I not rich yet? Yes, today I am very random.  
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_Oh, and random thought for random days: How do you spell 'purse', as in 'pursed her lips'? Microsoft Word claims it is not a word, and yet I swear I've seen it a billion times in books.  
_

_xo C._


	6. Sixth Meeting, Closing and Opening

_Hello everyone! Thanks for coming back to read. :)_

_Thank you to those lovely people who reviewed! And to those who have read up to this point but haven't reviewed, I hope you all enjoy the story. I don't like this chapter very much, but I'm too lazy to re-write it again, so I'm just going to throw it out there and move on._

_Enjoy!_

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_**Chapter 6 – Sixth Meeting, Closing and Opening**

"What the hell _is _that?"

Meredith glanced over at the painting Emily was staring at with a confused expression on her face. The two of them had been looking through a large pile of paintings the entire afternoon in hopes of making a decently-sized collection of works in preparation for the next art show, featuring abstract art. She yawned as she walked over to where her friend was standing. Not sleeping had definitely been a bad idea.

"Mer, look at this," Em exclaimed indignantly, pointing an accusing finger at a painting of...

"Is that...a cow, a sheep, a man, a woman, or a combination of all?" Meredith squinted at the work of art before her for a few seconds before yawning and shaking her head. "Whatever, I say it's in. We wanted abstract, we got it."

Emily shook her head vehemently. "No, no way...that is _not_ abstract. It's freaky."

"And abstract my friend," she replied, "is a decorative and professional word for freaky."

She went over to the table in the middle of the room that held the selected paintings, and grabbed her cup of coffee in relief, closing her eyes with content as the warm liquid rushed down her throat. Emily followed her with a look of disgust on her face, carrying the object of her disapproval to the table with resignation.

"Well, it's not my fault if people freak out then."

Meredith shrugged. "Unless they want to offend the artist, I doubt they'll freak out. And in case they do, I've got you covered," she assured sarcastically, patting her friend on the shoulder. "You finish up the last two. I'm going to go get as many more paintings as I can carry and another cup of coffee."

The tall brunette raised an eyebrow inquisitively. "Long night?"

"Yeah," she sighed, then saw Em's knowing glance. "Not _that_! I didn't get laid."

Emily plopped down on the floor, pulling on Meredith's arm until she was seated as well. "Well, something happened. You look like you won a million-dollar lottery. Spill!"

Meredith looked at her in exasperation. "Hello, the paintings?" She demanded, gesturing towards the door. "My coffee?"

"Oh, shut up. We've got all the time in the world, and it's not like Mark will let us go if the clock doesn't hit 9. That's ten hours."

"Ten hours to interrogate Meredith Grey about her love life?" _Oops. _She shouldn't have said that. Meredith looked hopelessly up at Emily, whose grey eyes were sparkling with gossip about to be divulged.

"So there _was_ a guy involved! Who is he? What does he do? What does he look like?"

She regarded her best friend, who was nearly bouncing up and down, with poorly disguised amusement. "Why is it that when there's some kind of change in my usually absent love life, you act like someone just proposed to you?" Meredith asked, laughing.

Emily pouted. "It's not every day that something happens in your social life, Mer, not to be offensive or anything. Come on! Tell me about your guy and I'll tell you about the son of a bitch I put up with for three hours on a date yesterday." She tossed another unwanted painting into the degrading pile and grabbed the two last canvases, handing one to Meredith. When there was no response, she looked up to see Meredith gazing at her curiously. "Oh no," she exclaimed. "No story from me until I hear one from you."

Meredith sighed. Emily was a force to be reckoned with, and stubborn as hell. She fingered the edge of the canvas she was holding, concentrating on the art in front of her, hoping to avoid the inevitable conversation she was to have with her friend. Brightly coloured circles screamed from the paper, bordered with several different quadrilaterals and a few shapes that were not really shapes at all. It was like looking through a huge kaleidoscope. Life was like looking through a kaleidoscope. There were so many planes, so many faces, that in the end it was impossible to tell what the original state of something was.

"I was drawing." Only three words were uttered, but it sounded like a million. Why was it that three letter phrases were always so complicated?

"Huh?" Emily dropped her canvas and looked up at her friend in shock. "Say that again?"

She knew that Emily was in momentary shock not because she had been drawing in the wee hours of the morning, but because she had been drawing at all. Young children drew pictures all the time in school, teens doodled over homework, college students sprayed graffiti all over the place, and even adults spent time sketching every once in a while to relive their younger years. Drawing was nothing very special. But only Emily knew that Meredith had not picked up a piece of charcoal, or any other drawing device for that matter, since they both started working for Mark during their college years.

"Meredith!" Emily's voice pulled her out of her thoughts. "What...how...you were _drawing_?"

"I was drawing," she repeated, watching as Emily leaned her head against a table leg in wonder. "Remember my sketchbook?"

"It's been seven years since you've let those papers touch a piece of charcoal, Mer," her friend reminded her.

Seven years? Had it seriously been that long? Art had been her life; she had sacrificed her relationship with her father for it. How had she stopped for seven long years? Seven was a terrifying number.

"It's true, I've been keeping track," Emily said quietly, seeing the disbelieving look on Meredith's face.

"Keeping track?"

Emily looked at her a bit sheepishly. "I made a bet with myself," she explained. "That you would start drawing before ten years had passed."

"What if I hadn't?" Meredith asked curiously.

"Not possible," Emily scoffed. "We've been friends long enough, Mer. I don't lose bets, you know that."

Meredith winced inwardly. That much was true. She thought of the year in college in which she had done all the dishes, every night, simply because she had bet that the college football team would lose. Her fingers ached even now as she thought of it. "What makes you think I would've started drawing in under ten years?"

"Two things. One: I know you too well. And two: At exactly nine years and eleven months, I would've kicked your ass and given you an epiphany."

"Are you sure we're friends?" Meredith smiled.

Emily smirked. "Of course. Now stop stalling and explain."

She sighed. How it was possible to explain Derek and her feelings, she did not know. "I don't know," she began, "how to explain. I don't even know what I'm explaining. One moment I'm drowning in my miseries at Joe's with my Jose, the next minute I see Derek, and then we're dancing, and then I'm not seeing anything at all. I'm just feeling all kinds of things instead. It's strange, Em. And when I went home, I was thinking. A lot. All I could see was his face. The rest...just sort of happened. I needed to draw it, record it, or something. I don't know." She shook her head in confusion.

"Derek? Who is he?"

"The guy who hit Mark."

Emily stiffened, exclaiming, "You didn't ask him why the hell he hit our boss?"

"Mark slept with his wife," Meredith retorted.

"That's..." Emily paused for a moment before continuing, "actually really easy to believe."

"Exactly. And Derek...he's pretty messed up. Like me." She handed her canvas to the brunette. "Keep this one."

Emily tossed the object unceremoniously over her head onto the table, crossed her arms, and stared at Meredith. "And unlike you, he's married," she stated carefully.

Meredith cringed. She couldn't help it. Marriage had always been a bad word in her dictionary, and the fact that Derek was labeled by it made it worse. And then her mind flashed to the moment he had kissed her the night before. She put her coffee cup on the floor and kept her hands clasped tightly together. "I forgot," she whispered. No, no, no. She had kissed, or had let herself be kissed by a married man.

"You didn't..."

She shook her head. "I didn't sleep with him. But we kissed." _Kissed. And it felt good._ Meredith twisted the watch around her wrist, the rhythmic motion soothing her racing mind. Of course it should end up like this. All good things came with price tags in her life. Nothing was for free, and nothing could be enjoyed. "Your guy?" She glanced at Emily and saw the sympathetic look on her face. They couldn't talk about this anymore, because it wasn't fair. The one time she felt she had finally met someone she could relate to and quite possibly learn to like, he was married.

"My guy," Emily echoed, and Meredith noticed the sag in her shoulders. "My guy brought his secret girlfriend along and suggested a threesome. That was what it had been about all along."

This time, Meredith mirrored the sympathetic look on Emily's face and grabbed her friend's hand, both to give comfort and to receive it. "They suck. They all suck."

"Agreed."

**s e c r e t; garden**

Derek Shepherd felt the cool afternoon breeze caress his face, and he tilted his head back in contentment from where he sat on the cold bench outside Seattle Grace Hospital. He squinted his eyes, attempting to block out the sun's merciless glare. It was surprising that for once, it was not raining and the sky was clear. Derek took that as a good sign, even though he had never been one to believe in any type of superstition; he was a doctor, after all. But lately, he had felt the need to turn to omens and signs, because his life had hit a dead end and it seemed the only way out was to get out of his comfort zone and believe something, because that was better than nothing.

He watched the people going in and out of the hospital, and wondered what was going on in their lives. It was strange to be less than five metres from someone and not even know a single thing about them, much less their name. It was a mystery, just like life itself. A perpetual mystery that he would never understand. Ironically, he was a doctor and actually did understand life, or at least the technical aspects of it. Unfortunately, he had long discovered that knowing the difference between healthy and unhealthy was not the most difficult part of living.

It was all very confusing. When he had come to Seattle, he had thought he would be avoiding his wife. Instead, he found his ex-best friend, and the reason he was avoiding his wife in the first place. And then he had thought he would never allow himself to get attracted to another woman ever again. Again, he did not get his way and found himself unable to avoid thinking about Meredith Grey and her laugh. But it wasn't just her laugh; it was her perspective on life, her defensive wall that was so hard to break, and the understanding in her eyes that told him she knew exactly what he was talking about, what he was feeling. Was it possible to meet your soul mate when you were still married?

That was yet another problem that placed an unwanted weight on his back. He was married. Derek was well aware of the fact that he had kissed another woman, and also that he had attempted to flirt with her, and nearly asked her out, had she not been so cautious. This confused him even more, for he was not a man without morals. It was against his ethics to do something that nearly made him just as terrible as his wife, but it was extremely difficult to resist Meredith. She was a welcome mystery, and one he was comfortable being around. She gave him a sense of peace, which was something he had been deprived of for eleven years.

Eventually, at precisely 2:15 in the afternoon, Derek dragged himself back to reality and got up from the bench. He walked up to the glass doors of the hospital, and as they opened, he was hit with a rush of unfamiliar air. His practice in New York had always smelt like the sickeningly sweet house freshener that Addison had kept all over the place. As if he needed the extra head ache.

There was nothing new about the scene that lay in front of him. He was reminded of his intern years, and felt a rush of excitement as it all came back to him. The rush to save a patient's life, the constant exhaustion. Nurses were all over the place, wheeling patients around, carrying clipboards, writing on surgical boards. A few doctors wearing white lab coats stalked around with a few younger people in their wake; he assumed that they were residents.

"Derek Shepherd, what in heaven's name brought you all the way here?" A voice pulled him from his silent observations.

He turned, and saw the man he had been looking for all along. "Richard! It's been a long time," Derek exclaimed, going up to the Chief of Surgery and shaking his hand.

Richard stepped back a bit, and Derek felt apprehensive as he saw his old acquaintance's eyes brighten with curiousity. "Well, you could've looked worse," he stated matter-of-factly.

"Rough times," Derek responded lightly, and Richard did not press him to explain. "Anyways, I was wondering if that position you told me about was still open."

"Always, my man. I was waiting for you to change your mind."

The two men walked towards the Chief's office, where Richard handed a stack of papers to Derek. "These are...?" He questioned.

"Your contract, and some other papers that I need you to sign," Richard replied. He leaned back in his armchair and scrutinized the disheveled man in front of him, who was looking at the stack of papers like something was going to jump out and get him. "Are you sure about this? Look Derek, I'm not going to make you explain why you've suddenly decided to move halfway across the country to take this job, especially when your wife happens to be in New York with your very successful practise, but I need you to be sure that you want this. I'm your friend, but I'm also running a hospital."

Derek focused on the papers he was holding. Sure was not exactly the right word to describe anything he was feeling at the moment. He wasn't sure about anything. The only thing he was sure about, however, was that he needed to do something. His mother had been right; existing in some strange dimension where time was suspended and things did not move was not the way he wanted to live for the rest of his life. He took a deep breath, and said, "I'm sure."

"Alright then, come in any time next week. Welcome to Seattle Grace, Derek."

_Welcome back to Seattle, Derek._

**s e c r e t; garden**

Two weeks later, Meredith found herself standing in front of a bright red wall, staring at the people who had stopped by to admire the paintings. Emily was most likely scowling somewhere in another room, preaching silently about the "stupid rich people who came and looked at paintings as if they had any class". She was right for the most part. It was rare that they ever got people who actually appreciated the artwork for what it was. Usually, it was men with expensive suits who had dutiful wives hanging onto their arms that came, just so they could pretend they were of the upper class.

Today, however, Meredith was in no mood to bother with them. She was worried. Derek had not contacted her throughout the two weeks, and it had just occurred to her that he couldn't contact her. They had never thought to exchange numbers, or addresses, or even last names for that matter. He hadn't come to any of the shows, although that probably had more to do with Mark than anything else. It was as if he had completely disappeared from her life.

She shook her head out of her thoughts as she saw the front desk lady of the building approaching her. "Meredith Grey?" The woman inquired.

"That's me. Is there something you needed?"

"There's a package for you sitting on my desk. The sender asked me to tell you immediately; he said it was urgent." She narrowed her eyes in annoyance. "Wasn't so polite about it either. Seemed like a mad man to me."

She swore her heart jumped. "A man sent it? What kind of man?"

The secretary raised her eyebrows and scowled. "Yes, a man. I'm old, not stupid. And how many kinds of men are there? Hey! Where are you going?" She waved her hand indignantly at Meredith's back as she charged out the room. When it seemed the young blonde would not return any time soon, she stalked off, muttering indiscernible words about "young ones these days" to herself as she went.

Meredith saw the brown package as soon as she arrived at the front desk. It stood out, and she nearly laughed out loud when she saw how disastrously it was wrapped. Smart man. She carefully pulled apart the folds of paper that were barely taped together, revealing a single piece of lavender taped to a stack of papers. A single paper fell into her hands, full of words written with the hurried scrawl of a doctor.

_First off: I'm not serenading you with flowers...you don't seem the type. I'll have you know that lavender's not really a type of flower. It's a kind of grass. But it looks like a flower. I really admire this plant because it has the ability to appear so elegant, yet in the end, it's just a weed. I'm sorry I haven't gone to see you since that night. But I live by certain ethics, so I had to take care of some things beforehand. Think of it as me cleaning up my world a bit before I welcome you in. The doors were a bit stuck; I couldn't open them all the way. I fixed it up though, I promise you. Take a look at the papers in this package. _

- _Derek_

_Ps: Shepherd is my last name. Just thought you should know._

She scrutinized the papers she held in her hand curiously. The words "divorce", "finalised", "official", "land", "Seattle Grace Hospital", jumped at her one by one. When she was finally able to make sense of the meaning of those words, Meredith felt such an enormous sense of relief wash over her that her mouth broke out in what she was sure was a stupid grin.

"Meredith freaking Grey!" Emily's unmistakably disgruntled voice yanked her out of her happy daze. "Stop grinning like an idiot and get your ass over here! I can only deal with so much people on my own!"

"Just a sec, I'll be right there!"

Meredith was just about to put the papers pack into the brown wrapping paper when her eyes caught the nearly hidden words at the bottom of one of the papers. They were perhaps not meant for her to see, but she felt her heart lifted by it anyway.

_Closed a door, and opened a new one._

Smiling, she tucked the package in the pocket inside her blazer and proceeded to head back to the main room, where she was sure Emily was about to physically combust. After she had pushed herself through the crowd of people, however, she looked at the place where her friend stood in confusion. The slender brunette was in deep conversation with a man that appeared to be looking at her in complete adoration. Shaking her head in amusement, Meredith walked past them and entered the room she was supposed to be watching over. They would be alright after all.

* * *

_I hope that wasn't too long and dreary! I had to move the story along somehow, and didn't want to bring Addison into the story as another layer of drama. By the way, I haven't forgotten the Secret Garden. Its purpose will come, later. Please leave a review!_

_xo C.  
_


	7. Seventh Meeting, Embrace Me

_Thanks for coming back to read!  
_

_I would like to sincerely thank all those people who reviewed, added this story to their favourites, and added it to their story alerts. My heart makes a happy little jump every time I receive those emails. I think lots of people are wondering when Mer and Der are going to realise that they have met before in their childhood. So I'm going to say: Soon. Very, very soon. Also, I will now be posting this story to separate boards (probably tomorrow) because someone so kindly suggested it to me. Thank you so much!  
_

_PS; I'm sorry if the end quotes/song lyrics have nothing to do with the chapter in general...most times I'm too lazy to be bothered with choosing the perfect one. Oh, and do excuse any grammatical errors if you find them…it's very late/early right now, haha._

_Enjoy!_

_

* * *

_**Chapter 7 - Seventh Meeting, Embrace Me**

She was either going crazy or dreaming. Those were the only possible reasons for the fact that she was currently dressed in a dark blue cocktail dress, sitting in a plush chair in some five-star expensive restaurant, watching her best friend obsess over her latest boyfriend. Meredith turned her wristwatch around. Mentally, she added "dining at 2AM" to her list of crazy occurrences of the night.

Right after the art show had ended, Meredith had originally planned to go home and bask in her newly acquired happiness alone; it was not often that she was allowed to be truly, freely happy. However, she was stopped by Emily at the door, who insisted that she eat out with her and Jason. Normally, she would have readily agreed, except for the fact that it had not been a very normal day with the arrival of Derek's unexpected package, which had somehow given her a significant new purpose for her existence in the otherwise dreary world.

She was brought out of her own sulking daze when an onslaught of camera flashing interrupted the thought-provoking silence, and whatever Emily and Jason had been discussing. Meredith regarded the large glass window she was facing, which was directly behind Jason and Emily. "Will someone please explain to me why there are about fifty million people carrying cameras out there, staring at us?" Her ears filled with the sound of muffled screaming. "And why they're yelling?"

Emily choked on the wine she was sipping, causing Meredith to glare at her. "What? It's not funny!"

Jason looked at her curiously with his light, blue eyes. She had to admit, he was handsome, with dusty blonde hair and a strong physical build. In the past, she wouldn't have minded taking someone like him home for a good lay. However, she didn't feel herself connect with him the way she had with Derek; her defensive walls refused to come down. "You really don't know who I am," he said carefully. "I thought Emily had been fibbing."

"Fibbing about what?"

"That I'm -"

"Wait, wait! Lemme tell her, I wanna see the look on her face," Emily giggled, slightly tipsy from the wine. She leaned forward conspiratorially. "My boyfriend," she whispered, "is Jason Hills! The actor!"

Meredith looked over their heads at the window. Well, that explained the people holding cameras outside; paparazzi. There were so many of them, they could have formed a human picket fence around the entire restaurant building...they probably had already, now that she thought about it. "Well," she murmured to Jason, "Em was right. I have no idea who you are."

"Have you heard of '_Those Who Believe_'? I co-starred in that movie, which was my most well-known one. I got lots of recognition from head directors and producers because of it," Jason bragged. His blue eyes had widened in such disbelief that there could be people in the world who did not know his existence.

Meredith stared at him with a confused expression on her face. "Huh?"

"Damn, Meredith...what planet have you lived on all these years?"

"Pluto," she offered distractedly, her eyes scrutinizing the area around them. All the other seated customers were gawking at their table unashamedly. Did people not know how to respect personal privacy? She watched a young girl dressed from head-to-toe in designer clothes screaming in fury at her parents, who had thrown their hands up helplessly.

"She doesn't own a TV," Emily explained, prodding her boyfriend in warning. "Now, why don't we get back to where we were before..."

Meredith averted her eyes from the two people in front of her, going back to observe the restaurant in the awkward position she was in. She couldn't help letting out a laugh as she thought about what the morning paper would read. They would probably assume that Emily was Jason's newest girlfriend. Who was she then? That always seemed to be the question at hand. When her mother had left her, who had she been then? Definitely not her mother's daughter, for then her mother could not possibly have left. When her father disowned her, what had her existence meant to him? So many questions, but no answers.

When the camera flashing and obvious staring became too hard for her to bear, she stood up. "Guys, I'm going to the..." She stopped and winced as she caught sight of Emily and Jason engaged in an action that looked suspiciously like kissing while simultaneously doing other things under the table. "I'll be in the bathroom," she said, clearing her throat uncomfortably. Neither person gave any indication that they heard her.

As Meredith stumbled shakily to the bathroom on heels that were killing her feet, she was aware of many eyes following her. It was as if they were watching her put herself to the ultimate test: Meredith Grey versus five-inch heels. Well, she wasn't going to lose for the whole world to see. Bending down, she reached behind her feet and unclasped the buckle on both her shoes. She didn't bother looking around her to see anyone's reaction; the bright neon bathroom sign had never appeared more heavenly. She must have wrecked hell in the restaurant. It was probably the first time a decently dressed woman had stalked around barefoot there.

She tossed her heels onto the ground next to her as she took refuge on a bench next to a huge, overgrown plant. The damn thing must have cost a fortune as well. She was able to observe the people out in the main dining room from this secluded place without being caught. Emily had always said that she hated how rich people flaunted their money. Now, as Meredith silently regarded the people eating in front of her, she realised that it was not the flaunting she despised, but their ignorance. They ate their dinners in small bites because for them, food never disappeared. They complained about waiters all day long because they had no idea what running around for long restaurant shifts felt like.

Meredith heard a soft shuffling to her left, and turned to see a tall man with curly raven hair take a seat beside her, his hands smelling like expensive soap. He looked at her with his deep blue eyes that were twinkling in amusement. "Every time I see you, you either do or say something that completely amazes me," Derek laughed. He let his eyes sweep across her body. "Nice outfit."

She looked down to her bare feet and blushed. "My feet hurt," she said simply.

Neither of them knew who felt the electric shock first; Meredith felt her feet being lifted into his lap, his rough hands gently massaging them. She was sure she felt a jolt of something inside her, but wasn't left a lot of time to ponder what it was. Instead, she was mesmerized by the scene taking place before her eyes. His hands...they were warm. That was the last coherent thought that went through her mind.

"This is why I like you," he murmured, looking up at her as his hands continued working their magic on her feet. "You make everything seem so simple. Most women would've given me a hundred reasons as to why they were in a five-star restaurant with no shoes on."

"I prefer just straight out telling the truth, or avoiding," she responded after a while. "It must be exhausting coming up with all those explanations, and not to mention in the end they're all just bull anyways."

He laughed. "So, are you avoiding something right now?"

Meredith crossed her arms, leaning against the wall behind them, and gave him a half smile. "If I were, why would I tell you?"

"C'mon," Derek pretended to pout, and she found herself unable to look away from his face, wanting to memorise it all. The way his blue eyes managed to look so dreamy; she could almost see the spirit of a young boy in him. "We're supposed to be on the same side!"

She stared at him for a few moments before giving an exaggerated sigh. "You look too dreamy for your own good," she smiled.

He cocked his head. "So are you gonna tell me?"

"I've only known you for about a month, you know," Meredith laughed, not giving up. "Why are you so hell-bent on asking me to tell you things?"

"Why haven't you asked me what I'm doing here yet?"

"Huh?" She glanced at him with a confused expression contorting her face. "Why are you asking me such a random question?" But it was true. She hadn't asked him what he was doing in the same restaurant as her in the dead of night. For a split second, Meredith felt a jolt in her chest. Had he been following her around? But one glance at the sincerely warm expression that danced across his features extinguished that thought from her head. It was then that she realised what was so significant about the fact that she hadn't questioned him. She _hadn't _questioned him. Derek had somehow become someone that could appear on her front door at three in the morning without arousing her inner alertness, her walls. They were weak against him. For some reason, that thought excited and scared her at the same time.

Derek smiled. "Why are you afraid of admitting that there's something special that exists between the two of us?"

"Why are you being so bold all of a sudden?" She was becoming flustered. The conversation had entered a land that was foreign to her. She didn't talk about connection, relationships, or attachments. They simply weren't her areas of expertise at all.

"Why don't we stop asking each other 'why'?" He was no longer smiling, but she could see the gentle warmth shining in the depths of his irises.

There was a long moment of silence as Meredith tried to control the thoughts that were racing through her mind as fast as lightning. She tried to grab them, to slow them down, but nothing worked. It was impossible to think. Her heart was trying to tell her something, but her mind wasn't able to receive it. It was frustrating...what was it that her heart was trying to say?

"Do you believe in fate?" Derek suddenly asked, breaking the silence before it became too overbearing.

"What?" Meredith thought of her parents. She thought of the soft scent of her mother's hair that served as her only reminder of the woman that had only been present in the era of her life that was now only represented in her mind with several short flashes of still images. She thought of the last bitter fight with her father, which had involved shattering glass and slamming doors. She thought of the various other mishaps that had occurred over the course of her life. "No," she finally said. "I don't believe in fate." _Because it hates me. _

Derek didn't respond, instead resumed rubbing his hands against her feet, relieving the pressure that had built from wearing heels. They almost sighed in relief. For a second, Meredith thought fearfully that she had said something he didn't like. And then he spoke. "I used to believe in fate. When I married my wife, I thought fate had brought us together." He paused then, to concentrate on massaging her feet. She watched him silently, unsure of where the conversation was going.

"We were happy," he continued. "I don't remember when that happiness drifted off, until our mutual existence turned into something mechanical. Somewhere in between all that, my father passed away." Derek shook his head, a bitter smile crossing his face. "Everything that came after that is a blur. And then I found Addison in bed with Mark. That night, I came to the conclusion that fate was bullshit. My belief in fate had faded over the years until it eventually turned to dust."

"But then I met you," he chuckled softly, looking up at her with eyes that reflected the lights above them. "For some reason, I think I believe in fate again."

Meredith felt her heart jump. He made her feel like her existence was something rare and golden; something that was worth appreciating. How was she supposed to respond to something like that? "I guess that explains why we've met so many times," she finally replied jokingly, attempting to lighten the conversation. "I'm seeing your face everywhere I look."

"Even when you're changing?"

"Ass!" She laughed, reaching forward to jab him in the ribs. Meredith pulled her legs out of Derek's lap then, and leaned her back against the cold marble wall. In the time that had lapsed since she had entered the bathroom lounge, the restaurant had emptied significantly. She wondered if Emily and Jason were still there, and then noticed the crowd of people that were still standing around like Chinese terra cotta soldiers. So they hadn't left yet.

Suddenly, there was a slight commotion from the women's bathroom as a young woman stumbled out with a man; presumably her lover. Derek nudged Meredith, quirking an eyebrow in their direction. The woman was singing at the top of her lungs, completely wasted, and the man followed suit. The drunk couple suddenly noticed the two of them on the bench, and giggled.

"See, Jackie? Toldja we wouldn't be the only ones screwin' on the toilet," the woman commented to her lover, swaying back and forth on unsteady legs.

Jackie laughed maniacally, then eyed Meredith, who felt Derek's hand tighten around her arm. "Gooood catch, man, haha!" He slurred to Derek. "Sexy lil' thing ya have thare."

His girlfriend tugged on his arm. "Come onnn Jackie," she whined. "Wanna go home!"

Jackie complied, kissing her on the lips. As the couple walked unsteadily out of the lounge, he turned his head, calling back to Derek. "Have fun t'night with yer girl," he shouted loudly, winking. And just like that, they were gone, leaving Meredith and Derek basked in silence.

All of a sudden, Meredith burst out laughing. "I'm sorry," she managed to say, trying to catch her breath, "I don't even know why I'm laughing."

Derek watched her amusingly, trying to keep a straight face but failing. Soon, they were both laughing outrageously, leaning against each other. "Me neither," he replied between bursts of laughter. "I guess there's no reason...let's just keep laughing." Her infectious laughter was lifting his spirits, and he wanted the moment to last forever.

When they had both calmed down, Meredith wiped tears from her eyes. It was a surprisingly satisfying feeling to wipe tears from her eyes that came from laughing instead of crying. She had almost forgotten what laughing just for the sake of the moment felt like. It barely crossed her mind that their shoulders were still touching and she could feel Derek's body warmth tingling her spine. "I envy them," she said suddenly, unable to keep the wistfulness from her voice.

"The rich people?" Derek inquired, nodding towards the glass windows in front of them.

She nodded.

"Don't," he stated vehemently.

"Why not? They're always happy. They have money, so they can choose what they want to deal with, and what they want to avoid," Meredith argued. "Look at them! Eating hundreds of dollars away with not a care in the world."

"My family is a lot like them," Derek said quietly.

She turned, surprised. "Your family is rich? As rich as them?"

He nodded. "You might think that being all messed up as you are is a bad thing, but it makes you all the more stronger." He waved his hands around, gesturing towards all the people eating outside. "They all live in a sheltered world. It makes them soft."

"Why be afraid of being soft if you can hide in a sheltered world all your life?"

"Because you can't. Their world is created from money and ignorance, Meredith. It's fragile. The moment their little bubble ceases to exist, these people become sad beings with no purpose." Meredith watched a shadow pass over his eyes, turning them a stormy blue colour. "Every night at dinner, the conversation remains within the boundaries of 'pass the salt', 'eat your vegetables'. There's so much happiness that it's freaky, more so because it isn't real."

Although he spoke from an objective point of view, Meredith had a feeling that Derek was speaking from personal experience. She took his hand in hers, hesitantly at first, then more confidently after he squeezed her hand reassuringly. "What made you realise it wasn't real?" She asked softly.

He laughed softly. "I must've been in my pre-teen years. I don't even remember why we were all edgy that day; me and my four sisters. Somehow, we started yelling at each other, breaking the tranquilizing peace for the first time in years. My poor mother knew nothing beyond her perfect world, so she withdrew into her room to do some reading, probably hoping that by the time she came out we would be all nice and perfect again. My father told us all to stop being so childish, then went out for afternoon tea with his colleagues. I was so frustrated that they couldn't see what was right in front of their eyes, I ran away from home."

"You what?" Meredith turned to look at him. "_You_ ran away from home? That sounds like something someone like me would do," she scoffed. "Surprisingly, I've never done it before."

He shrugged nonchalantly. "I was frustrated and angry at my entire family in general. I wanted to find someone who would listen to me, a person who could see the things I saw."

"Did you find that person?" Her heart ached, thinking of a lonely Derek. He must have been an unhappy child.

"I did," he responded. So bright was smile that flitted across his face that Meredith was almost jealous of the mysterious person in his past who was able to bring such happiness out of him just at the mere thought of him or her. "That person was like a breath of fresh air. I lost contact with her when she moved, though."

"You still miss her." It wasn't a question, but a statement. Meredith didn't need to see the apologetic nod of Derek's head to confirm her assumption. It was impossible to miss the light in his eyes as he spoke about her, the happiness in his tone, and the way he had a slight smile on his face as his thoughts drifted to his past. She let go of his hand, feeling slightly crushed. It amazed her how such a simple action knocked the breath out of her body.

"You don't need to be jealous," Derek breathed, tilting her head with a finger before brushing his hand against her cheekbone. The parts of her skin that he came in contact with burned.

"I don't?" Normally, Meredith would have cringed at how stupid she must have sounded but now, she didn't care. She just needed his answer. Her body tensed as she waited for it. _Scared, nervous, terrified. _Those three words bounced back and forth in her head, and she was pretty sure her hands were sweating. Please, please, please. What was she pleading for again? She wasn't sure anymore.

"No, Meredith," he murmured. She was in such a nervous state that she barely caught his answer. She felt his arms go around her, and leaned into him, breathing in his scent, closing her eyes. So this was what it felt like to be hugged. It was warm, secure, and pure. Meredith could feel his heart beating against her body...or was it her own heart? Or both?

"I was a boy when I liked her," Derek breathed into her ear. It, too, went on fire. "I'm a man now, and I like you." He hugged her tighter, and Meredith felt his breath fanning her neck.

She rested her chin on his shoulder. For some reason, a tear went down her cheek. God, it had been a crazy day. Had it just been a mere few hours ago that she was standing in the art gallery wondering about him? Several more tears made their way down her cheeks, and Derek put his hands on either side of her face. "Why are you crying?" He asked, confusion clouding his eyes.

Meredith shook her head, tears blurring her vision. She wrapped her own arms around him, pulling him back into the position they were in before, and he welcomed her back into his warm embrace. "Just...just stay like this," she said, her voice thick with tears. "I'm not sad...I don't know what...I don't know... I'm not sad." She shut her eyes, and all of a sudden, in a dazed voice, she said, "I think I'm happy." _Happy...I'm happy! What a wonderful thing to be able to say._

Derek smiled into her hair, gently rocking her back and forth, running his hands through her silky blonde locks. "Nice feeling, isn't it?"

She sniffed, then nodded her agreement. "Overwhelming, but nice. Definitely nice."

**s e c r e t; garden**

_"Laughter is not only amusement, entertainment or fun. It is an expression of inner happiness which comes only when we understand the deeper meaning of life."_ - _Madan Kataria_

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__Holy crap. I have NO idea how this chapter turned out like this. Maybe sometime in the future, I'll tell you how it was supposed to go. You'll probably laugh. Anyways, the next chapter will be up in the next two days for sure, as it is a continuation of this chapter. Remember to leave a review! I really enjoy reading your opinions on this story, and they keep me going._

_xo C.  
_


	8. Eighth Meeting, Hello Again

_Hi everyone!_

_Thanks for coming back and reading again! I want to apologise for the delay...I don't know if I'm having an allergic reaction or if I'm sick. Anyways, I can't breathe through my nose at all, my eyes are tearing, and I'm sneezing every five minutes. It's crap. If this chapter is kind of iffy, you know what to blame. ;)_

_Enjoy!_

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**Chapter 8 - Eighth Meeting, Hello Again **

Derek looked to his right, where Meredith was dozing quietly, her head resting against the window of his car. She had fallen asleep sometime after their emotionally-draining conversation, and she looked so peaceful, he didn't have the heart to wake her. Instead, he had carried her out to his car where he sat now, in front of the steering wheel, glancing at her every so often.

The moonlight that seeped through the windows cast an eerie glow around her body, the shiny sequins from her dress sparkling. Her long blonde curls nearly blocked her face from his view. Derek smiled. It was like she was a faerie that had been sent from the moon to keep him company. Meredith slept in such a serene and undamaged way, he almost wished that she could sleep forever. It was like that princess story...the one his sisters were obsessed with when they were little. _Sleeping Beauty._ He remembered when he was little, he had secretly wished he could be like the girl in there. Of course, not because he wanted a prince or a castle; Derek shuddered inwardly at that thought. No, what he had wanted was to fall asleep and have someone wake him up only when the world was perfect and the dangers were gone. But it was impossible to fall asleep and wake up to a happily ever after; life didn't work that way.

Sleep uncovered the mask of uncertainty and pain on Meredith's face. It was then, while viewing her true visage, that he saw the extreme resemblance between the girl from his past and Meredith. It wasn't her looks, really, that had sent a sudden jolt of deja vu through his body. It had been too many years since he had last seen the girl, and her face had long since been hidden behind blurry mirrors in his mind that were impossible to see through. The only thing that remained was a wisp of blonde hair, but blonde-haired women in the world existed in millions. It was the feeling she gave off, something Derek felt to the very roots of his being. There was something about her that made every fiber of his existence stir alive, until he wanted nothing but to live freely, to let his emotions run free. Suddenly, ambition surged through his soul; he wanted to protect her, to make her laugh, to be the person who put that peaceful, happy look on her face.

He reached out to push a strand of hair behind her ears, and the moment his fingers touched her skin, he flared back. So many emotions hit him at once, his mind was left reeling from the impact. How was she able to make him feel so many things, in such great quantities? She made him _feel._

Derek laid his head back again the headrest behind him, closing his eyes. The only thing that accompanied him in the deep silence was the sound of Meredith's soft, steady breathing. When he opened his eyes again, the sun was peeking out from the horizon ahead as the sky began to wake from its slumber. Pink and blue streaks danced across the large canvas overhead, behind white curtains of clouds. Meredith was still slumbering, her hands forming loose fists around nothing.

He had already put the key in the ignition and was prepared to drive out onto the main road before he realised he didn't know where to go. Derek had no idea where she lived, and he guessed that if she woke up in his bed, in the trailer, in the middle of nowhere, freaking out would be a mere understatement on her part. A loud honk sounded from behind him, and he glanced quickly at Meredith before sighing in relief. She was definitely not a light sleeper. Sighing, he turned onto the main road, tapping the steering wheel, completely at loss. Where would he go?

After several minutes, Derek found himself driving on the gravelly path that led to the garden. Once he stopped the car, he chuckled quietly to himself, opening the car door and silently letting himself out_. _Somehow, it had become his instinct to come to the garden whenever he was lost. Then again, that had been the reason for its existence in the first place.

**s e c r e t; garden**

"What are you doing?" Derek looked up from where he was kneeling to see Meredith stepping carefully over the dirt in her heels coming towards him with an unreadable expression on her face.

He turned back to the seeds he had been burying in the rich soil. "I'm planting lavender seeds."

"No, no," She muttered, shaking her head in confusion. "What are you doing _here_? What am I doing here?"

His hands stilled as he raised his head to watch her carefully, not knowing what to say. Meredith's hair was messy from sleep, and while her body was still relaxed, there was a wild expression on her face, one that he was unable to understand. She slowly walked around the clearing they were in, her eyes sweeping across the branches of the overgrown trees, a look of wonder dawning her face. "Are you okay?" He finally asked.

"Fine," Meredith replied distractedly as her fingers brushed against the rough bark of a nearby tree.

"I'm surprised you found your way to this clearing without getting lost," Derek chuckled.

She turned around and sat on a patch of grass, watching him intently. "It's pretty much a straight path. I just followed the stones on the ground."

"Those stones are really easy to miss," he said, grunting as he lifted a particularly stubborn block of dirt, revealing the rich soil beneath it.

"I guess I just know where to look," she murmured.

"Hmm." Derek shrugged noncommittally. Then he looked up again in concern at the flimsy dress Meredith was wearing. "Are you cold?"

"Not really." She smiled at him. "There's something about this place...it makes me feel warm. By the way, isn't this private property?" Her green eyes twinkled mischievously as she raised her eyebrows.

"Hasn't stopped me from coming," he grinned. "So you feel it too." He wasn't the only one who felt the magic in this place, despite it looking like a complete junkyard even after his many attempts to clean it up. Derek stood up, wiping his hands off on his pants before grabbing her hand. "C'mere, I want to show you something."

She giggled at his childlike eagerness, making his heart flutter. They made their way through the tangle of trees and grass, going so deep that soon the small clearing behind them disappeared behind leaves and flowers. The familiar way Meredith maneuvered herself around the area caused Derek to pause and regard her curiously for a second, but when she stumbled into him and looked up with a confused expression on her face, he shook his head briefly and made his way forward again.

Before long, Derek stopped as he reached the destination he had in his mind; the lake. It was the most hidden, and the most beautiful part of the garden. No one would have bothered to discover the medium-sized circle of blue water that lay before them. Because of that, its natural beauty had been preserved. Fish lived undisturbed lives in the shelter it provided, birds nested around its corners, and the unmistakable sound of frogs croaking could be heard. Gently, he guided Meredith to the edge of the water, watching as she bent down to pick up a flat stone. Her fingers ran over its smooth contours, turning it around and around in her hands. They gazed at the image in front of them without speaking for a few moments, both wanting to preserve the strangely calming silence.

"This is an artist's dream," Meredith said after a few minutes.

"What do you mean?"

Her eyes watched the scene before her unblinkingly, and Derek saw a soft expression sweep across her face. "Every artist strives to discover the painting of his dreams," she explained, sitting down on the tree stump behind them, ignoring the moss all over the woody surface. "It's not a painting that captures a moment in life, or one that describes the artist's feelings. It's a painting that has emotions of its own. It breathes, feels, and experiences."

He sat down next to her, crossing his arms as he took her words into consideration. "Is there such thing?" Derek asked skeptically. He had always thought paintings were just windows into an artist's soul; a mere still, nothing more. Then again, he was no expert on art.

Meredith shook her head. "I don't know. Take this place for example," she waved her arms around her. "Look at it; it has a mind of its own. But if someone were to paint this, it would become flat and lifeless. It's a dream."

"It is," he agreed. "You talked about worlds when we were at the bar."

She tossed the rock into the lake. "Yeah?"

"It might be a while before I discover my own world, but for now, I know that this place is the root of my existence." Derek looked around him, at the trees, the grass, the flowers. A minty, fresh scent wafted up his nose. "It's my heart."

Meredith laughed. "You have a very beautiful heart then."

"I know I do," he responded cockily. "And it's very pure."

She held his gaze, suddenly becoming serious. "It is," she murmured. "Despite all the torture it must have received, it's still pure."

Green clashed with blue for several moments as they found themselves drowning in each other's eyes. A bird warbled somewhere in the trees around them. Nature enveloped them on all sides, and no sounds from outside could be heard. The moment was broken when a flurry of leaves fell on their heads as a bird landed on the branch overhead. "You feel so deeply for this place," Meredith said jokingly, "as if you guys have some kind of history."

Derek's eyes shimmered with amusement. "Oh, history, we have lots of that, trust me."

"What kind? Did the lake cheat on you?" She nudged him playfully.

He laughed and pushed her back before answering. "I've known this place for decades. This was where I met her."

Time stopped for a second as Meredith froze. "Her? The girl?"

"Yeah," Derek responded quietly, lost in his memories. He didn't notice that the woman beside him had stood up and was watching him with indescribable happiness as understanding dawned upon her. She bent down and picked two smooth stones.

"Know how to skip stones?" Meredith smiled, tossing a stone into his hands and nearly laughing out loud at the entirely confused expression on his face.

"Huh?"

She turned towards the lake. "Let's see who can get the most skips." After carefully positioning herself at the edge of the water, she let the rock fly from her hands. _One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. _Meredith grinned triumphantly. "Your turn, Der."

Derek scratched his head. "What exactly has gotten into you all of a sudden?" She responded by yanking him up by his arm, smirking. "Ow! Okay, okay, I'm gonna toss it now," he complied. "You are so going to lose...I'm champion at skipping stones."

Without another moment's hesitation, another rock took flight into the air. _One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine _hops before it sunk to its death beneath the surface of the water.

"We're even," he said, shaking his head in wonder. "How...?"

Meredith giggled and smiled at him. "Teach me how to skip rocks, Derek."

"Huh?"

She rolled her eyes. "Honestly, you clueless idiot!"

He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. Did he do something wrong? "But you already know how!"

"Thanks to you," she said softly, the morning breeze blowing her long hair around her, getting in her face.

"What?" Derek was confused. Completely and utterly confused. Clueless idiot was the perfect phrase to describe him right now. He had never taught anyone how to skip rocks in his life save for..._Oh my God. _"Oh my God," he repeated out loud. "Oh my God. You're..." He watched her face as it lit up; her eyes were so bright!

"Meredith," she finished.

"Meredith...," he breathed, drawing the syllables out. The name carried a whole new meaning for him all of a sudden. Derek found himself overcome with memories of the girl, M_eredith_, and him in their younger years. Finally, that girl had a name and face. _Meredith, Meredith, Meredith_. It ran through his head over and over again. _Meredith, his Meredith._

She moved closer to him, until their foreheads were nearly touching, and grabbed his face on both sides with her hands. "Hello again, Der."

He smiled, finally allowing himself to come back to earth. It wasn't a dream, it was real. Reality inside a dream. Their dream. Their garden, their sanctuary. He smoothed her hair behind her head, pushing it out of his eyes. "Nice to meet you again, Mer."

When their lips finally met in an explosion of passion, there were no fireworks and it was not nighttime with a romantic moon overhead. Instead, the water reflected the sun's brightness, and silence surrounded them inside and out. Derek hugged Meredith closer to him. Gentle, warm bursts of emotions ran through their bodies, making their hearts pound together.

_Hello, Derek and Meredith. Welcome back. _

**s e c r e t; garden**

"_Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over." - anon_

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__Well, there you have it. *sneeze* I think I could do better, but if I don't post this now, I don't know when I will. *sneeze* This marks the end of this part of the story; meeting again, the reunion. Now you get the romancing, angst, and drama. Oh, there'll be lots of angst. A lot of it. Peace never lasts. *sneeze*_

_Please remember to review! I don't make it an requirement, since I think that's absolutely ridiculous, but I do appreciate it when readers at least come by and say hi. Thank you!_

_xo C. *sneeze*_


	9. Ninth Meeting, Sailing Ships

_So I read the last chapter just now, and can I just say...SAPPY. I must have been seriously delirious at the time. Ah well, sappy isn't too bad for now. This chapter starts with something that will make the story move forward, and then it's just a complete filler. Here's the thing though. I have two huge things planned for the story, but I need some ideas for small 'in-between' things. I'd gladly take any suggestions. What would you like to read? PM me, or tell me in the reviews section._

_Enjoy!_

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_**Chapter 9 - Ninth Meeting, Sailing Ships  
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Sunlight filtered through the tall glass windows that surrounded the redwood desk in the center of the room. A lone man was perched at the edge of the desk, squinting his eyes as he gazed out the window. He sighed, running his hands through his greying hair before turning around and swiveling his pale, colourless eyes around the room. Dusty books lay in disorganised piles on the bookshelves, and a few cobwebs floated around in lonely corners. Briefly, the man thought of hiring a cleaning maid, but the thought was quickly forgotten when his eyes stopped at the picture on his desk.

Three smiling faces stared out from behind the picture frame. A woman, her pretty blonde waves falling into her face as she carried a smaller version of herself in her arms, took up nearly half the picture. The small child, her intelligent green eyes twinkling at the camera, looked completely free and at ease in her mother's embrace. And then there was him. He was standing off to the right in the picture, laughing uproariously at his wife and daughter. The man ran his thumb over the picture wistfully. He remembered that day so clearly. It was right before his wife left him. He clutched the picture tighter in anger as he stared at the laughing woman. _Coward_, he thought.

Thatcher Grey allowed his eyes to drift back to his daughter. Or, not his daughter anymore, he reminded himself. He had disowned her. However, recently, Thatcher had done a lot of thinking. He was pretty sure she didn't want to see him ever again. But he was a father; _her _father...and as much as he disliked her choice in career, she was his daughter. He missed her.

He was going to find her again, and hopefully, if everything went according to plan, she would let him back into her life again very soon. Thatcher placed the photo face-down on his desk and smiled. He had it all figured out.

**s e c r e t; garden**

"Derek!" Meredith whined. She laughed as she watched the poor man come into view, huffing and red in the face, completely out of breath. "Hurry up, you old man!"

He growled, running up to her and wrapping his hands around her from behind. "Did you just call me old?"

She giggled. "Realistically speaking, you are."

"Should I prove to you that I'm not?" Derek asked as he kissed her temple.

Meredith leaned against his chest, sighing in content. "We have all the time in the world for that now," she murmured.

They had been together for a few weeks now. Together had become a beautiful word in Meredith's dictionary, simply because together meant being with him. That was definitely something he would say, being the sappy person that he was. Meredith giggled softly as she thought about Derek, her soul mate, and how impossible it all seemed. They had found each other even after so many years apart. But ever since she had found him again, she realised there was rarely a moment in which she did not crave his presence; it made her wonder how she had survived more than twenty years without him. He was the constant in her life, the variable that made everything right again. It was so hard to explain this feeling that filled her from head to toe whenever he was around, but it was there, and she enjoyed it.

"What are you giggling at?" Derek's breath caressed her right ear, the air setting her skin on fire.

She smiled, responding, "You." Meredith turned around in his arms and kissed him swiftly on the lips, ignoring the cocky expression that was spreading across his face. She played with the collar of his shirt, running her fingers along the intricate design that weaved along the edge of the cloth. "You know, I've been thinking."

"Well, that's always a good sign," he joked, kissing her forehead before looking into her eyes questioningly.

Meredith grabbed his hand and turned them both back towards the rocky path they had been walking on. They had spend the entire morning hiking up the mountain hidden deep inside his land. She found herself enjoying the time spent together and the hiking itself, despite her initial protests at being woken up at six in the morning. "This whole relationship thing," she said as they walked, "is pretty different from the friendship thing we used to do."

Derek pulled her closer, wrapping an arm around her waist. "Is it?" He stopped for a moment, and when she turned towards him with confusion written all over her face, he pulled her into him for a kiss that lasted until they both felt the need for oxygen. "Okay, maybe it is. For one, we can do that."

She blushed as they started forward again. For a few moments, they walked in silence, listening to the rhythmic sounds of leaves rustling overhead, and the occasional animal warble.

"So," Derek began, "what did you have in mind?"

"Let's say that I'm a sailor, sailing my ship in the ocean," Meredith replied, ducking as an overgrown tree branch appeared in front of her face. "And the weather's not so great, so waves are threatening to pull my ship under."

He nodded, indicating for her to go on.

"You're like the...I don't know, spirit or something...the force that calms the ocean and makes my ship stop rocking back and forth," she continued. "That's the friendship thing."

"I get what you're trying to say," he responded, his blue eyes glimmering with understanding. "But that's not the relationship thing?"

Meredith narrowed her eyes as she scrutinized the undergrowth that crunched under her feet. "The relationship thing is a lot scarier," she murmured. "You not only protect my ship from sinking; you know its secrets as well. You know where I keep the gold. We steer the ship together."

"I'm not seeing the problem here." Derek cocked his head in confusion. "That's good, isn't it?"

She nodded. "It's amazing. But Derek, being able to protect my ship from sinking and knowing its secrets means you have the ability to sink it if you wanted to." She drew a breath. "If we were friends, I'd be able to steer the ship away. In a relationship though, we're together. And that means I only know how to steer the ship towards you. So if you were to make my ship rock back and forth, I wouldn't be able to save myself. I'd drown."

Derek stopped walking completely then, turning to face Meredith and put his hands on either side of her face, caressing her cheeks comfortingly. "Well, since we're on the same ship, it means I'd drown too, doesn't it?" He gently forced her to look into his eyes. "I can't promise you that we're going to be perfect all the time, because bad weather can't be avoided."

"But?" Her sea-green eyes searched his for reassurance.

"In the case that our ship does sink, we'd drown together. And if one of us somehow manages to stay aboard, I would jump in after you without hesitation."

"Me too." Her answer surprised herself even. It came without thinking, like it was a part of her instinct.

He smiled at her. "So we're okay then?"

She nodded, turning to face the impossibly thick cluster of plants and trees that lay ahead of them.

"Oh wait," Derek added suddenly as an afterthought.

"Yeah?"

"Let's promise each other that we won't drown," he said seriously. "In case our ship sinks, let's try our best to swim. As long as we can break the surface of the water and draw a breath, then there's a chance."

Meredith nodded. "I promise you."

He took a deep breath. "Good."

"So now...how do we get through these trees?" She observed the dead end in front of them.

"Climb?" He suggested, although he was eyeing the area with doubt. Derek gave an amused chuckle. "And to think you wanted to race from the top to the bottom?"

She glared at him indignantly. "What's wrong with that?"

"You know you can seriously injure your ankles by running downhill too fast. And just how were you going to get through that?"

"And hiking up a mountain for seven hours _doesn't_ guarantee an injured ankle?" She asked him incredulously. "Besides, I would've crawled through the branches. It's not impossible."

He raised his eyebrows in pure disbelief. Meredith smacked him across the chest, a bit miffed that her pride was hurt just a tiny bit. She marched towards the thick cluster and plunged straight in, placing her foot gingerly on a thin branch. She ignored him as he called out to her in concern. Stupid brain man.

"Meredith, you're going to get hurt! Get out of there!"

She reached up to grab another branch, making sure her hands were stable before letting her feet hang, and she swung herself to the next flimsy branch. This time, as she hugged the tree for support, Meredith felt the branch underneath her feet bounce up and down slightly as she put her weight on it. After a while though, the branch stabilized itself, and she turned around to gloat at Derek, his face coming closer as he walked up towards the first tree she had stepped on, shaking his head in concern. "I told you I could climb through," she smirked.

Derek peered at her from under a leaf-filled branch. "Mer, seriously...I think you should come out now. You've only gone a few steps in anyway. If you go any further I'm afraid you're going to get lost."

"Seriously," she exclaimed indignantly, "I'm not a child! I'll show you. You can go the roundabout way, I'll meet you on the other side of these trees."

Without another word, Meredith turned and grabbed a farther branch, swinging her feet once again. This time, the trunk she landed on was thick and solid, and Derek let out a sigh of relief. God was she stubborn. He watched her for a few more moments, and seeing that she was safely and steadily pushing herself forwards deeper into the tangle of trees, he shook his head and headed the other way. He had barely moved a few steps before he heard the snap and the dull thud that followed. Without a moment's hesitation, he ran back towards the opening Meredith had gone through.

"Meredith! Are you okay?" He stuck his head between two branches, carefully avoiding the jagged edges. "Can you hear me?"

"Damnit!"

Derek let his racing heart calm down. She was conscious and pissed off, so technically she was alright. "What happened?"

"Nothing," came the reply. "The branch just cracked. I'm still gonn- OW, shit!"

"Alright, that's it. Stay there, I'm coming in."

"No, no, no! I'm perfectly fine," Meredith shouted. "You stay there, I'll come out!"

She pushed herself off the ground, leaning against a trunk for support as she examined the long gash in her leg. It wasn't deep, but the blood wasn't exactly a pleasant sight either. Her stomach lurched as she quickly jerked away from the blood, immediately regretting the action as a sharp pain shot through her leg. She hopped on her good foot towards the direction she had come from. All of a sudden, strong arms grasped her waist, and she nearly screamed before realising it was Derek.

"You..." Meredith's disbelief was unmasked as she glanced repeatedly from Derek to the entrance. "How did _you _get here so fast?"

He sighed exasperatedly, before replying, "This _is _my land, in case you hadn't noticed...I know how to get around it."

She glanced back down at her leg, slightly disgruntled. His eyes followed her gaze, and he gave a sharp intake of breath, seeing her injury despite her desperate attempts to hide it. "You're bleeding...we need to get that cleaned up as soon as possible."

Meredith let out a squeak of surprise as she felt the ground tilt away from her, and before she knew it, Derek had her in his arms, gingerly avoiding the open gash. "What the _hell_ are you doing?"

"Getting you home. You're bleeding, and we need to fix that wound up." He held her tighter as she squirmed uncomfortably against him.

"No, I am NOT bleeding!" Derek glanced down at her, clearly amused. "What? I'm not! Put me down already!"

Meredith growled. "Derek Shepherd, you are not winning so easily," she muttered. "I _can _climb my way through!"

"You sure can," he muttered noncommittally, concentrating on where he was putting his feet.

"You're placating me," she pouted.

Her green eyes glared up at him angrily, and there was such a seriously pissed off expression on her face, Derek started laughing, his laughter vibrating off his chest. "You're cute when you're angry." His breath was cut off when she began pummeling him with her ineffectual fists. "Hey! Stop that!"

"Now you're teasing me," Meredith mumbled. "Mean."

Derek winced as a branch scratched his arm. In the distance overhead, the sun barely shone through the thick leafy canopy, and he silently cursed the damn forest. It was way too complicated to maneuver around. He sighed with relief when he finally caught sight of the sandy brown path that would eventually lead directly to the grassy plain around his trailer. They were nearly there. "I'm not teasing you. Think about it, if you don't fix your leg, how are you supposed to swim out of the ocean using one leg?"

"Well, then you'll be there to save me."

"Okay. What if I had already drowned?"

"Then I'd much rather just drown as well."

He looked down to see her gazing at him seriously. "Really?"

She nodded, turning her face into his chest. "Yeah."

"Oh..."

Silence overtook them for the rest of the trip down, all the way until Derek reached the edge of the grass. He shifted his arms underneath her, and was surprised to see Meredith's eyes wide open, staring up at him silently. She had fallen asleep some time after their conversation had drifted off. He assumed she was still passed out from exhaustion, but obviously not, as she was now opening her mouth, about to say something. "Are we at your place?"

"Yup," he answered. "Finally."

She let her head fall back against his arm and let out a sigh of relief. "Finally," she groaned. "Oh, and for your information..."

"What?"

"I can swim with one leg."

"Really now," Derek rolled his eyes. "That's amazing."

"I can! You don't believe me!"

He climbed up the steps to his trailer exhaustedly. As much as he loved having Meredith in his arms, hiking all the way down from the mountain carrying her whilst dodging the confounded branches and crawling over trees was hard work, even for him. "Can you lean against the wall for a second? I need to get the door open."

Meredith complied, wincing slightly as she was forced to put weight on her injured leg again. Once they were inside, she collapsed onto Derek's makeshift bed while he went to retrieve the alcohol and cotton swabs. When he returned, she eyed the items in his hand as if they were dangerous weapons. "What exactly are you going to do with those?"

"Get rid of the germs on your cut, obviously," Derek said matter-of-factly, going into doctor mode. He dipped a cotton swab into the bottle before applying it onto her wound. He was not prepared for the foot that came in contact with his nose at all. "OW!"

"OW!" Meredith repeated, "Ow, ow, ow, ow, OW!"

Derek felt liquid coming out of his nose and noticed a drop of blood on his pants that was not from Meredith. "You broke my nose!"

"It's already broken!" She exclaimed, cringing as the alcohol he had rubbed traveled up and down her wound, setting it completely on fire. "Ouch!"

"Well you just broke it again," he muttered, glaring at her accusingly. "You have the pain tolerance of a five-year old!"

"I don't like blood," Meredith whimpered. "Or medicine, or alcohol, or shots, or hospitals. Can't we just leave it like this?"

"Of course not, it's going to get infected," Derek protested, sticking two small wads of tissue in his nose before grabbing another cotton swab.

"No way, no _freaking _way," Meredith screeched, pushing the pack of cotton swabs away from her like poison and retreating to the far edge of the bed. "Get that away from me before I kick you in the face again!"

He refused to give up, waving the cotton in front of him like a sword and jumping onto the bed, trying to grab her as she rolled to the other side. "Meredith, the faster we get this done, the sooner your injury will heal and stop hurting."

"You putting that damn thing on me is what's making it hurt!"

Derek grabbed her arm before she could limp off the bed and pinned her down gently. He was about to mentally prepare himself to be physically injured again, before he caught her laughing. "What's so funny?"

She giggled loudly, her entire body shaking with her laughter. "Look at us, we look ridiculous."

He looked around. Cotton swabs were all over the place, blood had smeared all over their clothes as well as the bedsheets, he had his nose stuffed with tissues, her hair was sticking all over the place, her arms crossed in front of her like a shield. And then he glanced down at her before kissing her deeply, running his tongue along her lips. She put her arms around his neck, returning the kiss just as passionately, running her hands through his hair. The intimacy didn't last long, however, before she started laughing again with him following suit. They looked absolutely ridiculous.

* * *

_I hope that filler wasn't too bad...can anyone guess what Thatcher is up to? ;) Please review!_

_PS; I've kicked a doctor in the face before. I blame it on reflexes. To this day, I don't know whether I was more humiliated or he. :/  
_

_xo. C_


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